Random, Random, etc....

How I knew it was laundry day.

A note of advice about these socks.

Yes, buy them if you want. Buy them like Noah and I did because our kids love Thomas the Train. Just beware that all of the thread that makes that cute design on the outside of the sock is just lurking in tangled, stringy knots on the inside. Be warned that your kids will cry for two reasons: 1. Their adorable little piggies get caught on the strings inside. 2. They want to wear them despite the discomfort. It is a simple case of darned if you do and darned if you don't. They will weep and wail when they see them in their drawer because they want to wear them, and then they will weep and wail when you try to put them on them.

This bugs me.

I get bugged when I make a Supreme Tombstone frozen pizza, and I have to pull the sausage off, and it pulls off some cheese with it. It doesn't seem like that much cheese with each bit of sausage, but by the time you get the ga-trillion pieces off of your slice you are completely cheeseless. So, you basically have to suck it up and eat the sausage just to enjoy the other toppings on the supreme. I just want a supreme frozen pizza minus the sausage. I think that pepperoni AND sausage is just too many meat medleys on one slice. But, hey, that's me. (And, smarty pants, don't even suggest that I take them off when they are frozen because I am the only one who doesn't like the sausage, and I have to leave some on for those who like it. PLUS, I can never tell how many slices I'm going to pack away until the moment. It's just not something that I can forsee.)

And, HEY, dontcha wanna fly with us?

Cactus Q & A with Yo' Mama

As an expert in this field, I feel it is my duty to answer your burning questions about Cacti safety.

Q: Are there any kinds of "tricky" cacti out there?
A: Funny you should ask. There is one pretty tricky cacti. You will know it by it's furry needles. You might even get tricked into thinking that there are no needles because they seem so soft.

Q: Where is this "tricky" cactus's habitat?
A: The treacherous deserts of Home Depot.

Q: Would you recommend introducing you children to this particular cacti?
A: Visually, yes. physically, I would have to say no. They may seem okay to touch, but leave tons of tiny, painful hair-like needles wherever they are held. For this reason, YOU SHOULD NOT LET YOUR KIDS HANDLE THEM.

Q: If you are unaware of this very important rule, and say, allow your child to hold it, and then rub his face with the then-needled hand, thus spreading needles to both cheeks, what should you do?
A: Definitely leave the Home Depot. I'm sure people will stare at your crying child, and you will most likely get the pit sweats from worry and embarrassment.

Q: Is there a medical treatment you would recommend for needle removal? It seems that removal by tweezers would be near impossible, tedious, and painful.
A: Nice observation. If you happen to try the tweezers method and find it very unsuccessful, try putting a thin layer of glue on the needled area and then place gauze over the glue. When the glue is dry, remove the gauze, and the needles will be taken out as well. Make sure to follow up with lots of kisses, sympathetic gazes, and bubble gum. Don't forget to wash the area with warm soap and water to remove any extra glue.


Q: Should you call your husband in a panic?
A: It never hurts to needlessly concern someone else who is at least 1 1/2 hours away. You might see if he has access to free gauze as well.

Q: Does Elmer's wood glue work as well as Elmer's white school glue in this case?
A: After reading the label, I can affirm that it does because it is considered non-toxic.

Q: How did you learn so much about cacti?
A: I got my online degree just today.

Q: Are you ever worried that you might scar your children for life with all of your crazy Mom antics?
A: Everyday.

A Nightmare

You know that you play and watch Thomas the Tank Engine too much . . . . .

when your husband hears you saying this in your sleep, "I can't leave Sodor." (for all of you lucky ones who don't know the mania of Thomas, you might want to note that he lives on Sodor, the imaginary train island.)

Or when you search for Thomas parodies on youtube.

Or when you have a competition with your husband to see who can write down the most trains in 5 minutes.

Or when you actually feel a little bit of sadness when you see that the paint on Spencer's tender has chipped.

Or when you start to call you kids by the wrong names. And not each others. You call them train names. By accident.

Or when you look forward to playing trains after they do their chores

Battle for Sleep

Wyatt

Vs.

Katie

May the Best Man Win

Timeline of Sleep Annihilation

10:30 - Noah and I hit the sack and begin our crossword/novel reading routine.

11:00 - Noah bails for the recliner downstairs due to a stuffed up nose.

12:10 - I finish Wuthering Heights, turn out the light, and mull over whether or not I believe Heathcliffe has a single redeeming quality (and as a side note, I believe that he has only 1).

12:30 - Asleep. zzzzzzz

2:10 - My foe stands next to the bed and awakens me in preparation for battle. Wyatt wants "a dink." Code for drink.

2:11 - I drag myself out of bed and oblige as I am not suspecting his plans for the night.

2:12 - Lead him back to bed.

2:12 - I get into bed and hear, "Moooooommmmmm, sleep in your bed?"

2:13 - Disarmed by my own sleepiness, I admit the enemy.

Here begins the real war for space, pillow, and blanket.

2:30 - Wyatt, "I want the soft pillow." This happens to be my pillow, and the only one on the bed. I agree to share. Until. I. Smell. His. Breath.

2:31 - I make Wyatt go get his own pillow off of his bed.

2:45 - Wyatt begins a conversation about Lightening McQueen. And I use my greatest weapon to thwart him. The Fake Sleep. He falls for it, and I lay very still.

2:50 - I lay still until my right arm goes numb, and I have to roll over. That was a mistake. Wyatt now knows that I am awake and sits on top of me, and says in a sing-song voice "You awake?"

2:51 - I use my super Mommy strength and move him to the far end of the bed and begin fake sleeping again.

2:51-3:15 - Silence.

3:15 - I can't sleep!!! And I realize that he has taken over my side of the bed.

3:16 - I switch places with him and put him on Noah's side of the bed.

3:16 - 3:30 - More Fake Sleeping.

3:30 - Wyatt says, "I want a dink." And I respond with a lie. It was my only defense. "There isn't anymore water anywhere. It's all gone."

3:30 -3:40 - Persistent whining. I fold being as I am weakened by his sophisticated techniques.

3:40 - I acquiesce and get him a "dink."

3:45 - He offers an olive branch in the form of a chubby arm around my neck and a sweet kiss on my cheek. I surrender and snuggle.

3:50 - Wyatt snores. zzzzzzzzz

3:50 - 4:30 - I lie awake in the dark wondering how one dink turned into a 2 1/2 hour battle.

The Way It Should Be

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenk's lawn. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."

--- Marjorie Pay Hinckley

I love this quote. Jaime posted it on her blog today, and it gave me a moment to pause and think.

# 26 of 30

I took the boys on a ride around Staten Island via the bus. Public transportation is so fun!! A little bit germy, but still so fun!

I know. I know. With a su-weet ride like this why would I ever venture out in anything else? We all know the two-tone hood is in. It screams, "Next time I won't turn around to answer a hey mom when I'm driving."

But back to the matter at hand. Me. The boys. The bus.

Silly to you maybe, but a grand ole' time for us. We loved every detail from the gum on the floor to the regulars giving us crazy looks for taking pictures. Our only regret is that we didn't cruise around longer. I was afraid, however, what might happen if I went too far without enough snacks in my purse. Hungry children strike fear into my heart. I don't leave home without at least a baggie of goldfish. It's just too risky.

Here are the boys waiting for the bus. I actually didn't even go. I just gave Calvin the metro card and told him how to get home. He's so mature for his age. KIDDING! I didn't send them out by themselves. I paid the bum on the corner to ride with them. KIDDING!

Nothing says love like hugging a transit map pole.
I know this looks like he is in pain, but he is actually giving me the biggest smile that he could. By this moment he was so excited to be on the bus he could hardly stand it.
Do you like my glossy lips? It's just some nude colored gloss from Clinique. It's too bad that I can't say the same for the glistening blob beside Wyatt's nose. It is, in fact, snot. Yes. I'm just glad that he didn't lick it before I wiped it up. Simple pleasures.

The Mall

I took Wyatt out while Calvin was at a birthday party.

We roamed the mall like we were in middle school.

We rode up and down the escalators eight times just because.

We rode the overpriced train and crammed into the engine for the best view, but had to share it with an overly chatty tween. ugh.

Then we perused the toy store and found that we could enjoy it without buying anything.

The candy kiosk begged us to buy a sucker, so we obliged. We even bought the begging tootsie roll. And shared it.

We tried on pants at the Gap. Well, I did anyway. He just licked the mirror.

We washed the sticky sucker hand in a complimentary cup from Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs, but didn't eat a hot dog.

We almost shop lifted from The Disney Store, but managed to rein ourselves in and return the Lightening McQueen before we got too far.

And last, but not least, we were fooled by the over sized basketball goal in Foot Locker. We really thought that we might find a giant basketball to go with it. No dice.

Then we cried.

But just for a second.

Then we were happy to just be together.

Late Nights

What do you do when you can't get your kids to go to bed? Should you threaten shutting the door? OR lay with them until they go to sleep? OR give them a special toy to help them stay in bed? Usually we do a combination of the previous suggestions. However, a few nights ago, I gave up and adopted the idea "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." Or in our case, "if you can't get them to go to sleep, invite them down for some cookies and milk." I would say that all in all in was an effective idea. It went right along with my theory that teaching emotional eating early has great benefits ...... early on.

Remember the Time? . . . .

That I got like a ba-zillion things done in one day? Things like, doing 10 loads of laundry, scrubbing the bathroom to an immaculate finish, washing the picture frames, teaching the kids physics, solving the Financial Crisis on Wall Street, and all in time for a well-made 5 course dinner.

Today is not that day. That was Monday.

Today was the day I sat around on the couch and thought about cleaning the cushions (but never did), took my kids to the park, but lazily sat on the bench, had Calvin make his OWN Peanut Butter and Honey sandwich, lallygagged on the phone with my Mom for 1 hour, did 9/10 of my workout, and didn't even shower afterwards. I'm hoping to finish strong with a half-way attempt at dinner named Top Ramen. Then I might really blow it out of the water and watch THE HILLS tonight and top it off with a few hours of nosey blog reading. No reason to call me Super Efficient today. Just call me Maybe Another Day Girl.

By the way, I am a little bugged that my Bail-Out plan didn't get approved. I worked all weekend on that baby.

Preschool Update

Despite Calvin's best efforts, he has started to like preschool. He moved gradually from complete hatred to mild dislike to impartiality to reluctant enjoyment to happiness. When I picked him up from school today, he couldn't hold back the excitement he felt towards music time (they got to play with a piano and sing) and the sand table. He even showed me the potrait he made of himself, which is stunning I might add. Just last week he told me he didn't have any friends, and that he didn't want any. Today, however, as he left he was eagerly waving to one of the girls in his class.

I said, "Who are you waving to?"

"My friend."

"What is her name?"

"I don't know."

It's a start.

A Sorry Tale of Neglect

Dear Mom,

Don't worry about me. While you're blogging I can take care of myself. I will feed myself.Then I will clean up.

And draw on the walls.

Love, Wyatt.

Remedy

If your way too EARLY morning started off with two kids crying (I still don't understand why if they are still tired they don't just go back to sleep. For Real. That's what I do, and then I feel better), then this is for you.

If your morning continued with an angry toddler who flailed wildly and seemed to grow an extra set of arms as you put him in the carseat, then this is for you.

If your oldest child took off his difficult-to-put-on-in-the-first-place Air Jordan tennis shoes in between every one of the four stops you made and drove you crazy each time because you had to put them on AGAIN, then this is for you.

If your usually sugary sweet baby lapsed into a conniption fit when you walked by McDonald's and wouldn't take him in, but then you caved and took him in because you knew he would stop crying even though you don't really have the money to go in the first place, then this is for you.

If both of your kids wept, wailed, and gnashed their teeth all the way home from New Jersey (except when they paused briefly to smile sweetly at the toll booth guy and hear him say, "What adorable kids," while you could barely suppress an eye roll), then this is for you.

If your brave first-time-to-pre-school son gave you the saddest look and in his pleading voice said, "Can I please just come home with you. I don't want to stay at preschool." and it took every ounce of your mommy stick-to-it-ive-ness to not cry and say, "I'm sorry, but you have to stay," then this is for you.

If you carried in, like, a ga-zillion heavy bags of groceries, and still couldn't find something to hit your taste buds right, then this is for you.

ENJOY!! Because you're back on in 10 minutes.

Fudge Pie

1 stick margarine
4 tablespoons cocoa
1 cup sugar
2 beaten eggs
1/2 cup flour
1 teaspoon vanilla

Melt margarine, add cocoa and stir until blended. Add sugar, eggs, flour and vanilla. Beat well. Pour into a 9 inch pie shell.
Bake at 325 degrees for 25 - 30 minutes.

Don't forget to eat it with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream!

This is my Grandma's recipe, and it does not disappoint.

Update for Monday, July 21

It is only 10:16 a.m. My kids have only been up since 8:00, but I thought you might like a preliminary tally of today's destruction:

1 large bowl of oatmeal all over the kitchen floor, on chairs, and in between all of the toes on Wyatt's left foot

2 pee accidents on the living room floor

1 broken lamp

1 toothbrush lost in the toilet

3 changes of underwear

1 streak of what I hope was chocolate on the wall

2 broken music CDs

1 glass of spilled water

1 large bowl of milky raisin bran spilled all over the couch and floor

1 Wyatt-sized bite to my right knee

+ a total of 5 meltdowns (2 for Calvin, 2 for Wyatt, and 1 for me)

I've almost finished my first roll of paper towels today, but it's looking like we might have a 3 roll day. I guess I can't complain too much since I haven't cleaned up blood yet.

Poem for Calvin and Wyatt

I have always loved this poem by e.e. cummings. It reminds me of my boys.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)