Cactus Q & A with Yo' Mama

As an expert in this field, I feel it is my duty to answer your burning questions about Cacti safety.

Q: Are there any kinds of "tricky" cacti out there?
A: Funny you should ask. There is one pretty tricky cacti. You will know it by it's furry needles. You might even get tricked into thinking that there are no needles because they seem so soft.

Q: Where is this "tricky" cactus's habitat?
A: The treacherous deserts of Home Depot.

Q: Would you recommend introducing you children to this particular cacti?
A: Visually, yes. physically, I would have to say no. They may seem okay to touch, but leave tons of tiny, painful hair-like needles wherever they are held. For this reason, YOU SHOULD NOT LET YOUR KIDS HANDLE THEM.

Q: If you are unaware of this very important rule, and say, allow your child to hold it, and then rub his face with the then-needled hand, thus spreading needles to both cheeks, what should you do?
A: Definitely leave the Home Depot. I'm sure people will stare at your crying child, and you will most likely get the pit sweats from worry and embarrassment.

Q: Is there a medical treatment you would recommend for needle removal? It seems that removal by tweezers would be near impossible, tedious, and painful.
A: Nice observation. If you happen to try the tweezers method and find it very unsuccessful, try putting a thin layer of glue on the needled area and then place gauze over the glue. When the glue is dry, remove the gauze, and the needles will be taken out as well. Make sure to follow up with lots of kisses, sympathetic gazes, and bubble gum. Don't forget to wash the area with warm soap and water to remove any extra glue.


Q: Should you call your husband in a panic?
A: It never hurts to needlessly concern someone else who is at least 1 1/2 hours away. You might see if he has access to free gauze as well.

Q: Does Elmer's wood glue work as well as Elmer's white school glue in this case?
A: After reading the label, I can affirm that it does because it is considered non-toxic.

Q: How did you learn so much about cacti?
A: I got my online degree just today.

Q: Are you ever worried that you might scar your children for life with all of your crazy Mom antics?
A: Everyday.

The Cutest Discovery

When a little one finds that he has pockets, and then puts them to use in every situation, it is nothing short of adorable. Little ole' Wyatt was introduced to them by his wise father, Noah.

And it's been love ever since.

Not only does he stroll the mean streets of Staten Island as casually as he can with hands dug deeply in, he also leisurely stuffs his adorably pudgy little digits in his jeans as he observes other kids at play.

Please don't grow up. Pretty please.

Valentines, etc.

We frost-a some-a cookies on Valentines. It's our tradition. I know. I know. Yours too. But ours is awesome because we are Shafers. From the looks of these pictures we either had no idea that our picture might be taken during cookie decorating, or we were just lounging around the house in our jammies.

Here is the ultimate cookie decorator, who always manages to make me blush with his sweet comments on my cookie. Yes, we decorate each others. As you can see, I have chosen to not only write a sweet nothing (Mom + Dad = Love), but also given him a slug-looking blob of frosting. That's because I know that true love is spoken in the language of frosting.

Wyatt was feeling particularly ambitious.

Calvin also understands the importance of lots of frosting and somber looks. Have you ever seen his brown eyes in person? They're incredible. Just in case you didn't know.

Ah, here she is, the goddess of afternoon slumber herself, the ever nappy yo' mama. My man knows about the frosting and never disappoints. That's why I married him.

Park Action

We have a su-weet park just behind our apartment. The other day the weather tricked us, and we thought it was warm enough to play outside. Kind of, it was. But mostly, we were cold. We still got in about 30 minutes of playing, which is not too shabby if you ask me.

Here we have Calvin striking the "Power Ranger" pose. He certainly looks tough, although I'm not sure if it's because he looks like he is doing a half-pirate, half-body builder pose or if he just exudes that frightening look that only a Power Ranger can give. Either way, it had me shaking in my booties.

This is one of all-time best "funny Mom" techniques. I feel inspired to let you in on it. When your kid is swinging and you are pushing them from the front, turn around and stick your rump way out. THEN (and this is the important part) when they are swinging back towards you, just before they hit you on the tushy with their cute little feet, jump up in the air, barely missing the hit, and fake yell, "Oooooowwwwwww!!!!!" It kills. It never fails to get yo mama a laugh. And I live for a laugh. Noah was kind enough to catch Wyatt and I mid fake-rump hit.

Have you ever seen anything sweeter? Noah was "getting Calvin warm" by wrapping him up in his coat. The boys don't like it when I try to get them warm because my arms aren't as long and snuggly as Noah's. Oh well, I'll always have the swing trick, I guess.

Wyatt thought he was big stuff climbing the ladder. It was all fun until just one more step up, and then he cried. I just left him there. In fact, he's still there. He'll figure out how to get down. KIDDING!! Come on! Of course I got him down. After 20 minutes. KIDDING AGAIN!!! I rescued him and weaseled a grateful, little kiss out him.

Cool silhouette shot of Calvin on the twisty slide. I know. I know. This will probably be in a National Geographic someday because it's such a good shot. I know.

The is a sure sign that you must go home -- - Blue Lips and A Lotta Snotta.

The Mall

I took Wyatt out while Calvin was at a birthday party.

We roamed the mall like we were in middle school.

We rode up and down the escalators eight times just because.

We rode the overpriced train and crammed into the engine for the best view, but had to share it with an overly chatty tween. ugh.

Then we perused the toy store and found that we could enjoy it without buying anything.

The candy kiosk begged us to buy a sucker, so we obliged. We even bought the begging tootsie roll. And shared it.

We tried on pants at the Gap. Well, I did anyway. He just licked the mirror.

We washed the sticky sucker hand in a complimentary cup from Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs, but didn't eat a hot dog.

We almost shop lifted from The Disney Store, but managed to rein ourselves in and return the Lightening McQueen before we got too far.

And last, but not least, we were fooled by the over sized basketball goal in Foot Locker. We really thought that we might find a giant basketball to go with it. No dice.

Then we cried.

But just for a second.

Then we were happy to just be together.

Potato Head Superlatives

It's graduation time at our School for Potato Heads. They have learned much and are ready to go out into the world and build up their community. But we cannot forget their many talents and gifts, which Calvin and I feel must be shared with the blogging world.

Ms. Skeezy VonSnap
Most Likely to Win a Beauty Contest

Simply, Radiantly Stunning. Breathtaking. Her Face is so symmetrically beautiful.

Mr. Charlie Kookin

Most Likely to say, "Ahh Cha Cha Cha-Cha"

Ms. Gretchen Forbodden

Most Likely To Purchase Rogaine and Shortly Thereafter Take A Nap

Ms. Petunia Peabody

Most Likely to Plant a Garden, Cross-Stitch a Picture of the White House, and Drink Her Tea With Her Left Pinky Raised (Considering that she only has her left pinky. We're sorry for your loss, Petunia.)

Mr. Gershwin Kookin, brother to Mr. Charlie Kookin
Most Likely Be a Spokesman for Teeth-Whitening If He Would Just Hack Off That Crazy 'Stache

Group Photo

Class of 2009, Winter Semester

**Thanks for the props, Mimaw Caffy. We had a delightful morning potato-ing.

Christmas - - - - a la Shafer

All on our own here in New York we have started a few Christmas Traditions. They have become a mixture of Cruze and Shafer traditions plus a little of our own imagination. We'll share a few with you. Santa came to our house a little early, before we went to Tennessee. It was a magical night.

New Jammies

Of Course. I think this is everybody's tradition, but it's a good one.

Of course. (Not pictured: Noah, his are green plaid)

Calvin is rocking the Lightening McQueen pj's.

Oh mama was Wyatt excited about these Thomas pajamas. He cries when I try to take them off.

Yo mama in Old Navy haute couture jammie pants.

Christmas Eve Feast

This tradition is 1 part Cruze, 1 part Shafer, and 1 part gluttony. Noah and I like to have the items we grew up with PLUS whatever is so delicious and fattening that you just think you might die if you don't get it.

Calvin had to have pumpkin pie.

Noah loves him some banana pudding.

I'll spare you the pictures of the hot wings, pigs in a blanket, and other various items. I imagine that you know what they look like. If you haven't seen hot wings, email me and I'll send you a pic.

Christmas Fort

I'm ashamed that I don't have pics of our super awesome su-wwwwweeeeeeet fort because it was so cool. My husband actually has a contracting license in Christmas Eve forts. It was the Taj Mahal of sheets. The boys loved it, and we all slept in it...........until 3 a.m. when Noah and I woke up the boys to unwrap presents. We're some impatient parents. I'll just leave it at that.

The Nativity

When I was growing up my Dad read the story of the Savior's birth each Christmas Eve. Noah's family acted out it out. We decided to retell it in our own words to the boys. When they are so little, it is hard to get them to understand the magnitude of that event. But I don't necessarily think that is even the point. I just wanted them to understand that it is an important day to remember Jesus Christ, that He was born, that He lived for us, and that He died for us. I love the story of the Nativity. I love to imagine what it would have been like to have been there and see the baby Jesus in the manger. What a beautiful thought!

Ssssshhhhhh!! They're asleep.

Noah built the boys a fort today.

We both laid down with them until they went to sleep.

And Noah fell asleep too.

I was the only survivor.

So, I snuck downstairs all the way to the basement to tell you that I love my guys.

They are all three asleep in a big pile like puppies. If you looked in, you would say, "Ahhhhhhhhh......"



P.S. I'm still lovin' that sandwich. Jonesing for it.

Things That Were On My Mind Today

My boys are growing up so fast.

Sometimes I wonder what the day will feel like when I am not their number 1 anymore, or when Calvin will start to not want to play with my hair anymore, or when Wyatt will be too busy to sit beside me and talk with me.

I can't help but feel like I am not appreciating these moments with them enough. I try to, but sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the normalcy of life. You know, "Clean your room," "Hurry up! Let's go," "Maybe Later," "I love you, too." "Go to bed! Again!"

Being the Mom is a little bit unfair. It's hard to tell them no when you really want to say, "Yes, you can have anything that I could ever possibly want to give you. And here, take my heart, too!" But instead you have to say no --- A LOT. I know. I know. It's for their own good. But you can't tell me that you haven't ever been tempted to just give them any and everything they could want. I'm glad, though, that 1. I'm not capable of giving them most material things (hardly any actually) and 2. that giving them character in the long run is more gratifying. I'm also glad, however, that I am capable of giving them my attention and affection.

Yesterday Calvin and I made cookies together while Wyatt was napping. I really thought that I could have died in that moment in complete bliss. His sweet little voice was singing and chatting with me. His cute little kid hands were so messy and licked all over. His gingerbread men were so funny with chocolate chips all skewampy all over them. I'm glad that my children are a part of me and a part of Noah. I love that they are my flesh and blood.

My Mom and Dad used to sing this old song called "Turn Around" about a little girl, who seemed to grow everytime her Dad turned around. Sometimes it would make my Dad cry, and I couldn't understand. I get it now, Dad.

I put it in the sidebar of my music, if you want to hear it. If you do listen to it, you may as well grab a box of kleenex because you might cry. The snotty-nosed kind of crying, maybe even some shoulder shaking and puffy eyes. P.S. Mom and Dad sang it better. Waaayyyyy better, but this copy will just have to do.

The Shafers Visit Lady Liberty

I'll make this short. I know that you have lots of blogs to surf. I know how Monday morning brings the promise of weekend posting. So, no stories, just witty quips under pictures. Enjoy.

My three dudes on the ferry out to Ellis Island.
Same Boat. Attempt at a group photo. As you can see, I'm not even willing to put a sandwich down for a family photo. I love sandwiches.
The beautiful ceiling in the main building at Ellis Island.

Lady Liberty. She's so tall.

I heard she's a member of Oprah's book club. She's always reading something. I admire that in a statue.
You have to climb 156 stairs to get to the feet. I had only climbed three stairs and started to dread the remaining 153. I am so proud of Calvin. He climbed all 156 up and down without any help!! He loved it. Wyatt slept through the whole thing.
This is a picture of me removing toe jam from Lady Liberty's toes. This particular piece was giving me some trouble. I'm kidding. I would never call my child toe jam. Or would I?
More comedic genius at work as I train my son in the ways of humorous fake nose picking

This is what you get when you go to the Statue of Liberty on such a rainy day and wear your hood.
So cold. So wet. I think my exact words to Noah were, "Hurry and take a picture of this because I want to remember exactly how miserable this wet moment was." We don't look too miserable, huh? I have to say spending the day with those boys of mine is always pretty fun. Even if it's wet.

If THIS Doesn't Melt Your Heart . . .

It must be made of cold, cold steel. I went upstairs to go to bed the other night. I stopped in to check on Calvin and Wyatt and saw that Wyatt had crawled into Calvin's bed and snuggled up next to him. Seriously, you know that is adorable.

Happy Halloween!

Love,

The Twin Batmen

Happy Birthday Wyatt!!

What a guy, that Wyatt!! He turned 2 on Halloween. We had such a fun day. We woke up, he opened presents, and then as Calvin went to preschool Noah and I kidnapped Wyatt and took him to a free Halloween Festival. He had so much fun, and we loved being able to focus on him and savor his big day. After an evening of trick or treating we gathered at home with a few close friends for cupcakes and milk. I did an interpretation of the good ole' hostess cupcake, which was pretty tasty. Here are a few fun shots of the good times and a few things that we love about him:

1. He is always happy and spunky. It is rare that he is fussy and cranky, and when he is you know something is wrong.

2. He is very clever. He can always figure out how to get up into high places, where the candy is hidden, or how to get what he wants.

3. He loves his "puppy" a blankie he received from his great-grandparents when he was born. Just the other day I caught him giving puppy a drink from his sippy cuppy, while saying, "Thirsty puppy?"

4. As we were trick or treating and he was climbing some high stairs he had to walk by some flowers, and I overheard him say, "YUCK . . . flowers. I no like flowers." A true boy.

5. He loves to crawl up into Calvin's bed and lay beside of him.

6. He loves to give big, fat juicy lippers (kisses right on the lips).

7. He loves to be the center of attention.

8. He LOVES, LOVES, LOVES Cheese. Yeah baby.

Late Nights

What do you do when you can't get your kids to go to bed? Should you threaten shutting the door? OR lay with them until they go to sleep? OR give them a special toy to help them stay in bed? Usually we do a combination of the previous suggestions. However, a few nights ago, I gave up and adopted the idea "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." Or in our case, "if you can't get them to go to sleep, invite them down for some cookies and milk." I would say that all in all in was an effective idea. It went right along with my theory that teaching emotional eating early has great benefits ...... early on.

Bath Time

I don't know which bath time issue was the grossest: Wyatt trying to drink the bath water and barfing up a partially digested Hershey Kiss or the mystery poop nuggets that neither boy would claim as their own (luckily the little gems showed up after the drinking/barfing incident).

Added Bonus: In Calvin's dinner prayer tonight he asked that I would be blessed to be funny. I knew that I needed some new material, but I didn't know that I was so far gone that I would need Divine Intervention for my sense of humor.

Suspected Poop-i-trater

Happy Birthday, Calvin!!

Calvin turned 4 on Saturday. It was a fun-filled superhero party with lots of friends, cake, and happiness!!

Calvin Waited Expectantly For the Other Superheros

Then he took a moment to give a solemn glance towards the camera.

The kids played with the new train table (thanks to both sets of grandparents for the collaborative success).

A snap shot of the superhero crew. From Left to Right: Super Ian, Batman, Batman, Batman, Spiderman Venom, and Princess Girl. (not pictured: Kira Girl)

Calvin tired of his Batman outfit because it was too hot. He stripped it off, but on his way upstairs to put on something more comfortable, paused to show innocent Edith his Tow Mater underwear.

Batman showed up again, but this time on top of the cake. Just to clear things up, it is not a hat cake, but a cake that mistakenly looks like a hat with batman on top.

Wyatt could barely suppress his glee after he finished his cake and found himself all alone with the train table. Oh, the joy!