Just in case you are suffering . . . .

don't suffer anymore. If you were like me and opened and closed every cabinet door in the kitchen about 10 times and still couldn't find anything to hit the spot, I think I might have something for you. I called my Mom and got the recipe for No Bake Cookies. This just so happens to be a recipe from one of the greatest bakers I know, Faye Gold. She taught my Mom all of her cookie secrets, and she in turn taught me. Sooooooooooooooooo...........

You may have this recipe. Don't rub it in if you do.

But if you don't, you do now.

I also have two of them in my tummy at this very moment.

enjoy!

No Bake Cookies (When Nothing Else Will Do)

1/4 C. butter
2 C. sugar
1/2 C. milk
3 TBS. cocoa
1/3 C. peanut butter

Bring these ingredients to a boil, and then cut the heat. Add 3 cups of quick oats and 1 tsp. of vanilla. Spoon out a dallop of these onto some tin foil. Then try not to burn your tongue as you impatiently attempt to eat them before they are set.

Bliss on Bread

You knew it was going to happen sometime. You knew I would dedicate a post to my favorite food one day.

Today was the day.

And.
It.
Was.
A.
Good.
Day.

I can't bear to keep this to myself.

BEHOLD - --- THE BEST SANDWICH EVER!!

I saw this beauty on the Pioneer Woman's website, and so Noah and I decided to make it tonight.
It was so, so tasty.

I'm talking finger lickin', mama slappin', eye rollin', mouth droolin' kind of tasty.

But don't take my word for it. Make it yourself. Then remember who told you about it, and think, "Man, that yo' mama is so full of good advice and silly humor. I wish we were besties."

To which the imaginary me in your head would say, "Thanks. Thanks so much. I wish I could really take credit for this. But alas, I didn't invent this sandwich. I just ate it. Let's hang out though. You can come over after my kids are in bed and Noah is studying, and we'll watch The Office. Then we'll french braid each other's hair."

It's Beginning to Smell A Lot Like Christmas

Chances are that if you know me you have received this as a Christmas gift. What can I say? Noah and I are pushing thirty, and we're still hitting school hard. We don't do fancy pantsy Christmas gifts.

Unless you are really special and one of our parents. Then you might just score a subscription to National Geographic.

For all of you others out there, here is a nice little potpourri recipe. For a gift, just put the ingredients (except the water, I'm sure they can get their own) in a basket or tin or whatever gift holder you choose with a recipe card of this recipe. It's thoughtful, smelly, and way easy on your budget. Whether you are poor college students, sufferers of this current economic crisis (which I'm still trying to fix, please be patient. I've got my friends on Wallstreet working overtime), frugal, or currently disabled from a motorcycle accident and low on cash, then this might be something you're interested in.

You can just make it for yourself, too. We do quite frequently during the holidays. Just make sure that you refill the water because if it burns down it starts to not smell like Christmas and more like burnt toast. But maybe that is what Christmas smells like to you. If it does, just skip the water altogether and burn the ingredients to the bottom of the pan.

Without further ado.......

Here's a nice little recipe for you blog readers:

Holiday Potpourri

1/2 orange
1/2 lemon
1 cinnamon stick
2 bay leaves
10 cloves

Place ingredients in a pan with about 4 cups of water and simmer. Let the aroma fill your house and then hum your favorite Christmas song.

Delightful Brunch Recipe & ScoobyDoo in a Rorschach Test?

Noah's Mom is collecting recipes for a family cookbook due out on Christmas. I forgot to put in one of our favorite brunch recipes. It's so tasty. Serve it to your guests, and you will become a rock star in the kitchen. Anyway, Noah was kind enough to type out the recipe and email it to his Mom. You should take it and make it.

Sausage Brunch Casserole

fry up one package of sausage (any kind) mix in 8 oz of cream cheese. lay unrolled crescent rolls in one layer across a greased glass pan. put sausage and cream cheese mixture on top. tell the sausage that you love it but are unhappy with its life choices. cover with another single layer of crescent rolls. follow the cooking instructions for the crescent rolls or cook until the rolls are golden brown.

Ahh...it's stuff like that that reminds me why I married that guy.

AND

Is it just me or does this paint blob on the wall of my basement look like Scooby-Doo (his back is turned and he is looking over his shoulder)?

Weird.

Who is Looking for a Job?

My love for all things sticky, sweet, and delicious has driven me to keep a running list of items I would put in a sweet shop and/or bakery. The list includes, but is not limited to:

1. Chocolate Chip Cookies
2. Whoopie Pies
3. Fruit Pizza
4. Cupcakes, Cupcakes, Cupcakes!!!!! (yellow w/chocolate frosting, chocolate on chocolate, etc. you get the point)
5. Bite-size caramel apples on sticks.
6. Tennessee Walking Sticks (pretzel rods dipped in caramel and drizzled with pecans and chocolate)
7. Peanut Butter Kiss cookies
8. Fruit Pies and Cobblers (in the fall)
9. Chocolate Covered Cherries
10. Huge, big, fat slices of Red Velvet Cake
11. FUDGE
12. Cranberry Orange Muffins
13. Banana Bread
14. Nathan's Brownies
15. And Jello. Kidding. I don't think that is a dessert. At all.

The list goes on, but I think that you get the idea. I think that I might name it: What Katie's Craving. Because as far as I can tell those desserts don't have anything in common with each other except that I am probably thinking of one or more of them at any given moment.

Anyway, the plan is to get my kids a little bit older and then open up some sort of shop to fulfill my sugar-filled fantasies. I am currently taking applications for cash register and frosting taster. Please make sure to put your name, qualifications, and ideal salary (please note that you will be paid in desserts). I am also accepting menu item and store name suggestions. You will be awarded in futuristic dental money (a.k.a. - a free cleaning from Noah in about 3-4 years).

"I Do Believe I'm Falling For Fall"

The crisp air, the long sleeves, the jackets, the pumpkins, the spices, the apples, the pretty leaves. Ahhh, fall is really here. I didn't think that I was ready, but when Calvin came home with a preschool info sheet about Autumn I surrendered. Fall, to me, means apple pie.

Take an afternoon and while your hubby is knee deep in work or school or wherever, make this pie for him. Make sure you give him enough time after dinner to be primed for dessert and then lay a big fat slice of this pie on him. Don't forget the scoop of ice cream. Ladies, this isn't about you. This is about making yo man smile. Here is my apple pie recipe. Do respect it, and do make it. Then sit back and watch the compliments, smiles, and affection heap at your feet.

Apple Pie

2/3 Cup of Sugar

1/4 Cup of Flour

1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg

Dash of salt

8 cups of thinly sliced and peeled apples (macintosh, gala, and golden delicious are great)

2 TBS. butter

2 pie crusts (Don't stress too much, just use the Pillsbury roll out kind. No one will never know.)

Heat oven to 425 degrees. Mix sugar, flour, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt in a large bowl. Stir in apples. Turn into a pastry-lined pie plate (glass will give you the most even browning). Cut butter into small pieces; sprinkle over apples. Cover with the top pastry that has slits cut in it; seal and flute the edges (you know, the crinkle sides of the pie). Cover the edge with a 2-3 inch strip of foil to preven excessive browning; remove foil during the last 15 minutes of baking.

Bake 40-50 minutes or until crust is golden brown and juice begins to bubble through slits in the crust. Cool on a wire rack for at least 2 hours.

Marinade Your Chicken and Become the Next Vice Presidential Nominee

Here is a recipe that is sure to please. It is so tasty that anyone who eats will certainly love it, and then they will want to vote you into office. That's exactly the story behind Palin. Word on the street is that she made this teriyaki chicken for McCain, and the rest is history. I made it tonight. I didn't get the nomination, but I did get out of putting the boys to bed.

Teriyaki Chicken

1 Cup Soy Sauce
1/2 Cup Worcestersire Sauce
1/2 Pineapple Juice
3/4 tsp. Ground Ginger
1/2 Garlic Clove, Minced
1/4 cup Brown Sugar

Mix all the ingredients together. Marinade chicken for 24 hours and steak for 12.

Visual Dictionary

Skiwampus (skee - womp - uhs) adj. - not in alignment or traveling off course. Other forms include: skiwampy (skee - womp - ee) and skeezy (skee - zee).

Examples in sentences:
1. Katie Shafer's cake was skiwampus.
2. Does this cake look a little skiwampy to you?
3. That cake is just plain old skeezy.

Remedy

If your way too EARLY morning started off with two kids crying (I still don't understand why if they are still tired they don't just go back to sleep. For Real. That's what I do, and then I feel better), then this is for you.

If your morning continued with an angry toddler who flailed wildly and seemed to grow an extra set of arms as you put him in the carseat, then this is for you.

If your oldest child took off his difficult-to-put-on-in-the-first-place Air Jordan tennis shoes in between every one of the four stops you made and drove you crazy each time because you had to put them on AGAIN, then this is for you.

If your usually sugary sweet baby lapsed into a conniption fit when you walked by McDonald's and wouldn't take him in, but then you caved and took him in because you knew he would stop crying even though you don't really have the money to go in the first place, then this is for you.

If both of your kids wept, wailed, and gnashed their teeth all the way home from New Jersey (except when they paused briefly to smile sweetly at the toll booth guy and hear him say, "What adorable kids," while you could barely suppress an eye roll), then this is for you.

If your brave first-time-to-pre-school son gave you the saddest look and in his pleading voice said, "Can I please just come home with you. I don't want to stay at preschool." and it took every ounce of your mommy stick-to-it-ive-ness to not cry and say, "I'm sorry, but you have to stay," then this is for you.

If you carried in, like, a ga-zillion heavy bags of groceries, and still couldn't find something to hit your taste buds right, then this is for you.

ENJOY!! Because you're back on in 10 minutes.

Fudge Pie

1 stick margarine
4 tablespoons cocoa
1 cup sugar
2 beaten eggs
1/2 cup flour
1 teaspoon vanilla

Melt margarine, add cocoa and stir until blended. Add sugar, eggs, flour and vanilla. Beat well. Pour into a 9 inch pie shell.
Bake at 325 degrees for 25 - 30 minutes.

Don't forget to eat it with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream!

This is my Grandma's recipe, and it does not disappoint.