Remember the Time . . . .

That my husband got me a ticket to see In the Heights on Broadway for Valentine's Day?

And remember how I loved it and thought I would like to become a Dominican dancer?

And how I also wished that I knew a little more Spanish?

And how I got my picture taken with KeKe Palmer from 'Akeelah and the Bee' even though I've never seen that movie and didn't know she was famous until Susie recognized her?

And, finally, remember how much I love Noah and how he always does super sweet things for me, and I just happened to document this one?

Yeah, I remember, too.

Cactus Q & A with Yo' Mama

As an expert in this field, I feel it is my duty to answer your burning questions about Cacti safety.

Q: Are there any kinds of "tricky" cacti out there?
A: Funny you should ask. There is one pretty tricky cacti. You will know it by it's furry needles. You might even get tricked into thinking that there are no needles because they seem so soft.

Q: Where is this "tricky" cactus's habitat?
A: The treacherous deserts of Home Depot.

Q: Would you recommend introducing you children to this particular cacti?
A: Visually, yes. physically, I would have to say no. They may seem okay to touch, but leave tons of tiny, painful hair-like needles wherever they are held. For this reason, YOU SHOULD NOT LET YOUR KIDS HANDLE THEM.

Q: If you are unaware of this very important rule, and say, allow your child to hold it, and then rub his face with the then-needled hand, thus spreading needles to both cheeks, what should you do?
A: Definitely leave the Home Depot. I'm sure people will stare at your crying child, and you will most likely get the pit sweats from worry and embarrassment.

Q: Is there a medical treatment you would recommend for needle removal? It seems that removal by tweezers would be near impossible, tedious, and painful.
A: Nice observation. If you happen to try the tweezers method and find it very unsuccessful, try putting a thin layer of glue on the needled area and then place gauze over the glue. When the glue is dry, remove the gauze, and the needles will be taken out as well. Make sure to follow up with lots of kisses, sympathetic gazes, and bubble gum. Don't forget to wash the area with warm soap and water to remove any extra glue.


Q: Should you call your husband in a panic?
A: It never hurts to needlessly concern someone else who is at least 1 1/2 hours away. You might see if he has access to free gauze as well.

Q: Does Elmer's wood glue work as well as Elmer's white school glue in this case?
A: After reading the label, I can affirm that it does because it is considered non-toxic.

Q: How did you learn so much about cacti?
A: I got my online degree just today.

Q: Are you ever worried that you might scar your children for life with all of your crazy Mom antics?
A: Everyday.

The Cutest Discovery

When a little one finds that he has pockets, and then puts them to use in every situation, it is nothing short of adorable. Little ole' Wyatt was introduced to them by his wise father, Noah.

And it's been love ever since.

Not only does he stroll the mean streets of Staten Island as casually as he can with hands dug deeply in, he also leisurely stuffs his adorably pudgy little digits in his jeans as he observes other kids at play.

Please don't grow up. Pretty please.

Lamentation to Winter. Ode to Summer.

Get thee hence, foul snow!!

Give me sunshine, warmth, and a picnic before I go mad.

I have grown tired of the coats, mittens, and scarves, and long for that once familiar piece of clothing which brings true happiness - - - the swim suit.

Come to me sweet Summer.

Make Haste.

How I long to shake the sand from my children's underpants.

How I wish to partake of the free summer lunch program offered only in our semi-socialist city of NYC.

How I desire a meandering walk with my children at the slightly stinky South beach boardwalk.

How long have I suffered this bitter cold.

I shall sorrow no more.

No.

I shall only hope for the quick return of the Beauty of the Seasons.

Fair Summer.

Pictured Above: My humble chariot surrounded by snow.

Valentines, etc.

We frost-a some-a cookies on Valentines. It's our tradition. I know. I know. Yours too. But ours is awesome because we are Shafers. From the looks of these pictures we either had no idea that our picture might be taken during cookie decorating, or we were just lounging around the house in our jammies.

Here is the ultimate cookie decorator, who always manages to make me blush with his sweet comments on my cookie. Yes, we decorate each others. As you can see, I have chosen to not only write a sweet nothing (Mom + Dad = Love), but also given him a slug-looking blob of frosting. That's because I know that true love is spoken in the language of frosting.

Wyatt was feeling particularly ambitious.

Calvin also understands the importance of lots of frosting and somber looks. Have you ever seen his brown eyes in person? They're incredible. Just in case you didn't know.

Ah, here she is, the goddess of afternoon slumber herself, the ever nappy yo' mama. My man knows about the frosting and never disappoints. That's why I married him.

Park Action

We have a su-weet park just behind our apartment. The other day the weather tricked us, and we thought it was warm enough to play outside. Kind of, it was. But mostly, we were cold. We still got in about 30 minutes of playing, which is not too shabby if you ask me.

Here we have Calvin striking the "Power Ranger" pose. He certainly looks tough, although I'm not sure if it's because he looks like he is doing a half-pirate, half-body builder pose or if he just exudes that frightening look that only a Power Ranger can give. Either way, it had me shaking in my booties.

This is one of all-time best "funny Mom" techniques. I feel inspired to let you in on it. When your kid is swinging and you are pushing them from the front, turn around and stick your rump way out. THEN (and this is the important part) when they are swinging back towards you, just before they hit you on the tushy with their cute little feet, jump up in the air, barely missing the hit, and fake yell, "Oooooowwwwwww!!!!!" It kills. It never fails to get yo mama a laugh. And I live for a laugh. Noah was kind enough to catch Wyatt and I mid fake-rump hit.

Have you ever seen anything sweeter? Noah was "getting Calvin warm" by wrapping him up in his coat. The boys don't like it when I try to get them warm because my arms aren't as long and snuggly as Noah's. Oh well, I'll always have the swing trick, I guess.

Wyatt thought he was big stuff climbing the ladder. It was all fun until just one more step up, and then he cried. I just left him there. In fact, he's still there. He'll figure out how to get down. KIDDING!! Come on! Of course I got him down. After 20 minutes. KIDDING AGAIN!!! I rescued him and weaseled a grateful, little kiss out him.

Cool silhouette shot of Calvin on the twisty slide. I know. I know. This will probably be in a National Geographic someday because it's such a good shot. I know.

The is a sure sign that you must go home -- - Blue Lips and A Lotta Snotta.

A Mess Worth Saluting

Wyatt bequeathed a strange and wonderful gift on us last night.

As I walked to the top of the stairs to watch Lost with Noah, I said to him, "What is that wonderful, fruity smell???"

To which Noah replied, "I don't know, but it does smell good."

Fast forward to 40 minutes later during a commercial break.

After realizing what the smell could be, I rushed upstairs in a frenzy but found myself pleasantly surprised.

I would like to take a moment to point out Wyatt's proficiency in mess making.

Not only was the smell of the shampoo so blissful to the sniffer (which made cleanup enjoyable), it was a very well-crafted mess (if you could even call it that).

To compound the greatness, was the ease and stealth in which he committed his act. We never heard a sound. So, we were able to relax and not have to holler, "Hey, get back in bed." No, he let us dawdle along in our contentedness. That's professionalism.

A large portion of the goo was directly in the toilet, with only a smidge of it actually on the seat. How thoughtful!! Let's be honest, if anywhere on your body needs a refreshing smell, the hiney-fanny just might be it. We did wipe this up though because you don't want any slide-age on the throne. Not good. (look closely for the thin pink layering)

The best part was that most of the stuff was IN THE BATHTUB!!!! What a gentleman! All I had to do was turn on the shower head to rinse away the mess.

There wasn't even a drop of it on the floor.

He was stealthy, thorough, and thoughtful.

And that is why I commend you and salute you as Most Respectable Mess Maker of January 19th.

Thank you, Wyatt. Thank you.