Dear Sliders and Parents of Sliders:
I just want you to know that it is okay for a child to go UP a slide. You don't have to just go DOWN to use it correctly. In fact, I know for a fact that there are no such rules out there that stipulate that a slide is only for going down.
I will admit that there are issues of etiquette when using a slide, but I must say that they are the normal rules of etiquette that apply to everything else in this world: take turns, be courteous, and don't hurt anyone.
See! Easy.
From now on I don't want to see anymore dirty looks when my kids are climbing up the slide because I will just ignore you and pretend that I don't hear what you are saying to your kid (but actually trying to say to me through your kid.)
For example, when you and I are standing next to each other, watching your child slide down as my child is climbing up, and you say to your child, "Go ahead and slide down. Slides are for sliding down. He'll move." I will respond to my child (really to you), "Keep climbing, honey! You were climbing up first, so it's really your turn. Also, you are so fast and stealthy. Plus, you know that you can have a good time climbing up! I'm very proud of the fact that you are so strong and into staying fit. I hope that you continue to make great exercise choices that challenge you. I hope that you continue to realize that sliding down a slide (though very fun) has no REAL cardiovascular benefits!"
Sincerely,
Yo Mama
Dear Smoking Man:
Sir, I just want to take a moment to thank you for parenting for me. I really appreciate you telling my child not to climb a ladder at the playground when he is wearing crocs because crocs are so "f*****g slippery" and could "kill you."
I am so glad that you saw that I saw him climbing, but still felt like it was good to trump my decision to let him climb.
Thanks for exposing him to second-hand smoke and the mother-of-all-curse-words because he doesn't get too much of that at home. You know how it is: you get so busy will all of the housework (paying bills, vacuuming, making dinner) that you forget to do the important stuff like curse in front of the three year old.
Sincerely,
Yo Mama
11 comments:
LOVE IT!!! You know you will miss these special life teaching moments when you move.
But seriously folks....why do people have to parent other children when parents are clearly standing right there. By far one of my BIGGEST pet peeves.
p.s. is the drool in the last picture just about to drop in your mouth by any chance?
I'm so sorry that you had such a rough time. I'm glad that you are such a good mother -- ignore those people. You have wonderful children and I love you all! (Cathy)
The slide rule is so true. It seems to be quite popular over here (maybe I just didn't notice back in Utah) to follow your child around (literally one foot away) telling them how to play and to not swing on bars or climb up slides or jump around....I also employ the ignore method, like I don't know they're trying to tell me to discipline my child.
I would've totally told off the smoker, in my head at least!
They mean well, I'm sure. Right?
Ahh...I miss the "Parke Park." I think about it whenever we go to the park here. I don't miss the weird people in NYC though. Wish we could come and visit before you move.
My biggest pet peeve is smokers. I seriously moved to the wrong town for that one. I honestly was hoping I'd become more sensitive towards people who smoke when we moved to NYC, nope, it's gotten worse because how can you seriously smoke around children and have that not be considered RUDE!! (or in the doorways of grocery stores I was thinking of shopping in... that's the other one, or in the doorways of the doctors office, hospital or INSIDE the Mall? AGH! the frustrations! I'd better stop now... :) Love your witty satirical writing.
I can't walk through an "Exit" door without thinking, "In the Out Door." Didn't you always say that in school? Up the down slide is the same. I think its fun. I hate when people parent your kids in Walmart or the supermarket. I let my kids sit/stand in the cart. That is my worry - not theirs. If they start to fall, by all means step in - until then I will worry about it.
Bahahaha! Love your slide story! Made me laugh out loud (which hurt my incisions)...too funny! And too true!
For reals about the smoking guy! Why do people do stuff like that? Ugh...I guess it's so you can tell your child what not to be like, and what not to do!
im so glad smokey guy helped you. i've been noticing that you don't swear near enough around your children. i was kind of starting to judge you for that. maybe he could become your nanny. go find him at the park and ask him. hurry before someone else nabs him!
wow! what do i say? where did you find this park? lol! actually, i'm not a fan of the slide-climbing simply because i decided it's not worth the headache. i've had too many busted lips or injury of others' kids that i don't even notice because i'm sitting on some bench, reading a magazine about helicopter parents, and they are all waiting to report me for my neglect. i just go when it's raining guarenteeing no one else will be there but my kids. then the cardivasculor benefit really kicks in! climb all you want boys!
as for the smoking man, i wouldn't have worried too much. they probably didn't think twice about the foreign word. on the other hand, after you posted those sexy poses of W baring his midriff and C sliding down a pole...sheesh! i'm definitely concerned now.
better find a better park. lol!!!!
Thats why we stopped taking the train, and driving more. Too many f and n bombs. HELLO?!?! We need to see you guys before you move. Seriously. I can't handle it. We want to see Noah do that thing he does to people when they not looking.
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