Thoughts While Driving in the Car Today

1. New York is not humid. Tennessee is humid. And don't forget about that heat index factor, which I think they should rename, "the real temperature." Because isn't that what it is?

2. Yes, it would be funny if everyone in the whole wide world's underwear fell off at the same time. (I actually didn't think this, but was told this by Calvin.)

3. Wyatt really doesn't understand this new baby thing. I know because he asked, "Am I in your tummy?"

4. How do I get water out of my ears? Nothing works.

5. I can't believe summer is winding down. That's soooooo lame-o.

6. Are those huge passenger vans labeled "Police" really allowed to pull people over and give them tickets ('cause I saw some dude get pulled over by one today). I thought those were just for show.

7. If I were going to be any kind of singer, it would have to be in the genre of monster rock ballads. Nuff said.

8. I feel so sorry for construction workers. I think that working outside in the blazing heat in jeans and a flannel shirt must be the most miserable thing.

9. I wonder how many miles per hour I can run. I guess about 5.

10. Did we ever see Dr. Claw's face (you know, from Inspector Gadget)?

I Think This Is Funny

I wish I knew this guy so that I could tease him in person.

See, Dreams Really Do Come True!

Every now and again, my Dad has to go overseas for a business trip, and luckily enough he schedules his layovers in New York and for as long as he can possibly make them so we can squeeze in a visit. Saturday we were lucky enough to have him all to ourselves from about 8 to 5. I love it when he comes. And not just because he spoils us. Mostly just because I love him so much and just enjoy seeing him.

This go around we drove into the city and spent the day bumming around. He decided to make Calvin and Wyatt's Nintendo dreams come true and take them to the Nintendo Store in Rockefeller Center.

Bliss, folks, pure bliss. Here you have the overwhelmed and stunned youngsters taking in the onslaught of Wiis, Yoshis, DKs, and Marios.

It was great to have Dad here, but he is always so serious. I could hardly get any pictures of him smiling.

This look of glee on Wyatt's face must be the look on a junkie's face when he gets his fix. What other comparison is there for a boy who has an arm load of Yoshis and Marios????

Look fast. This very well could be the last picture you see of this pregnancy.

We spent the rest of the stay roaming around the city. At one point we got a burger and shake at Stand. If you come to the city, you must eat there, and you must get the Toasted Marshmallow shake. It was divine. It was so good that after Dad tried a taste of mine, he abandoned his banana shake to the little boys and ordered one for himself. Seriously, delish.

So, has this convinced you to come and see me, yet??? We will be gone in less that a year, and you are going to regret letting this time pass you by. Seriously, I'll take you to Stand so you can buy me another Toasted Marshmallow Shake. You'll love it.

Now, run along and buy a ticket. I'm due in mid-October. You don't have much time. Call me when you know your flight info.

If & Then

IF you ask a pregnant woman if "she is sure that there's not more than one in there," THEN you should be prepared to get the stink eye from her until she is skinny again. Even if you are the sweet neighbor-lady.

IF it is 96 degrees outside, THEN you can be assured that The Shafers will be content to share a 35 oz. slurpee from Sam's Club and thereby enter a complete state of bliss.

IF you buy toilet paper from Sam's Club and it's too heavy to carry in on your own, THEN be sure that you give you husband enough warning to carry it in before you run out. You know that could spell T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

IF your kids are fighting too much, THEN it is a good idea to make them hug and kiss until they promise to never fight again.

IF you are only 7 months pregnant and someone says to you, "So, you must be due any day now," THEN you are entitled to roll your eyes at them. And then you can still make cookies for dinner. Just don't admit to anyone that you did it.

IF you are crazy-hot and uncomfortable at night, THEN you can dress your kids in winter pj's and turn the a/c down to 65.

IF it thrills you to see what people put on the curb for the garbage man because "one man's trash is another man's treasure," THEN make sure that you take a walk on Monday nights. You know, because trash day is Tuesday, and the good stuff goes fast.

IF you read an article in a fashion magazine that says that Heidi Klum sometimes sleeps with her hair in 3 loose braids to create a "gorgeous, tousled look," AND IF you have abnormally straight and impossible-to-curl hair, AND IF you just want to see if it works, THEN don't be totally shocked when you wake up the next morning and find that your hair is just kinky and weird looking. I don't know this from experience. I just am guessing.

IF you are looking for a good toe nail polish color, THEN you should try black. It's really kind of fun.

IF you really are craving concrete and chalk, THEN you shouldn't eat it. Seriously, put it down. Step away from the toxic materials. But, you can always try chewing ice. Or daydreaming about a gritty, concrete snack.

IF your door knob on your bathroom door is broken, THEN you should warn your guests. IF you choose not to, THEN you shouldn't be surprised when your brother and sister-in-law get locked in for 20 minutes. Nor should you be surprised when you get a call from your dinner guest on their cell phone about ten minutes after they excuse themselves to the bathroom asking if you would please come upstairs and let them out.

Wyatt: Uncensored

Here is the young thing found in the kitchen, and as reported by his older brother, he was, in fact, "cutting the cheese."

We last saw him streaking (in more ways than one) through the break dancing portion of Family Home Evening.