Not. The. Best. Day. Ever.

You would think that if you went to the beach on your 7th anniversary with your hubby and kids, and that if it started to rain as you were putting up your umbrellas, yes, you would think that you might cash it in and head home.

Not the Shafers.

No, we sat out the first rain storm under our sun umbrellas.

Then we actually got to play in the overcast sunshine for about 45 minutes before the second rain storm.

It was back to the umbrellas for another half hour.

Then we gave up.

And went home.

But not before stopping at Walgreens for an 8 pack of Reese's (or as Calvin would say "Reeser's) Cups.

It. Was. Not. The. Best. Day. Ever.

At least Wyatt had a sweet set up. Noah made him a deluxe bed on a boogie board complete with a beach towel pillow and beach towel blanket. Calvin and I just ate Goldfish. The crackers, not the real fish. Seriously, folks, that's gross.

The Jacket Saga: A Tale of Woe in 3 Acts

ACT 1

Digging through some of our newborn clothes, we found this little 3 month old jacket, which Wyatt wanted to wear.

ACT 2

He was so devastated that he might have to take it off that he climbed to the window ledge and threatened to end it all. (Also note the Super W cape which he used to fly to the top. Thanks Susie for the awesome cape, BTW).

ACT 3

Luckily, Calvin was playing Nintendo. And using his intense stare and Nintendo tongue managed to not care long enough for Wyatt to lose interest and climb down safely.

Pics From Austin's Wedding

Aren't they the cutest couple???

Can't you just see the love in their eyes???













Isn't it strange that I took my camera with me, but forgot to get even one picture???







All the same, it was a beautiful wedding and reception, and I am happy to have another sister join the family.

The Ever Elusive Pregnancy Pic and 28 Week Stats

If you have ever taken a pregnancy picture of yourself to post on your blog, then you just might know a little bit about the elusive pregnancy pic. It's very fickle, folks. I'm just glad that I am pregnant in the days of digital. My baby bump might not have ever seen the likes of the blog world if we still had film cameras doing all of the heavy lifting.

Anyhoooooooo, I thought you might like to see all of the pics that we took trying to find a decent one that I wouldn't mind posting. This might defeat the purpose of the 10 minute photo session I put Noah through. But what can I say? I'm a chump for making you laugh. So, laugh away.

The cheekbones almost saved this one. They almost redeemed the bad lighting on my other cheeks.

Seriously, I'm serious. Seriously. Maybe those veins on my right hand need a stern look to get them to stop protruding.

Back to the other side. This is actually the same smile that I used in my fifth grade school pictures. It's just a classic. It also works in nervous situations.

It looks like I am saying, "Who me? Sure. I guess you could take my picture. Well, gosh, I'm just a Mom. Shucks, thanks for the picture."

Is it too much trouble to just get one decent picture???? Just one. Pu-lease, picture powers of the heavens, just grant me a decent picture.

Fine. We're in a pinch. This will do. It's the best we got.

Pregnancy Stats: Week 28

Current Weight: Ha! You thought I might tell. Oh, no no no.

Breathing Ability: Slowly declining. I currently get winded after two bowls of cereal.

Fears: That the hips have spread and flattened my rear, thus giving me "Mom Butt." Consequently making me the perfect candidate for Mom Jeans (Don't forget to push play).

Wyatt's Name Choice: Baby

Calvin's Name Choice: Calvin. **Side Note** He has changed his name to Donkey Kong and sees no need for his given birth name. He has generously decided to donate it to the new baby.

Noah's Name Choice: Still likes Linus and Cy.

My Name Choice: I'm holding strong to Lucas Cruze Shafer.

Energy Level: Still very high.

Current Cravings: None.

Items Needed to Complete the Nursery: None, seeing as there is no nursery room, and that this is the third boy born in the same season as the other two. This poor child will probably not own a single thing that hasn't already belonged to someone else.

Hiccup Alert: He seems to get them every few days around 10:30 p.m.

Lost & Found

Please respond if you have seen these items:

1. Calvin's Batman. You know, the one that fits on the motorcycle. Not to be confused with Wyatt's tinier Batman that is too short for the motorcycle, but has an accompanying Bruce Wayne.

2. 2 marbles. I know nothing of these things. Not where they came from or that we even owned them, but Calvin tells me they are essential to our home.

3. My sanity. It was last seen in the lobby of Citibank at 11:30 this morning. It left and was replaced by my "I-typically-only-use-this-voice-when-I-know-there-aren't-people-listening-to-me-chastise-my-kids" Voice. Just prior to losing it, you could have caught me in a downpour of deposit slips made possible by the ever destructive Wyatt.

Please respond if you are missing these items:

1. One piece of a train table mountain. Item found under my pillow.

2. One small, pretend saw. Item found in my underwear drawer.

3. Two Hulk popsicles. Items found in the back of my freezer. Also note: Items have been eaten by my kids, but the sticks are still up for grabs.

The Art of Tattling

A Reflective Essay

by Calvin & Wyatt Shafer

There are many important techniques available when one chooses to tattle on another. Here are a few suggestions:

1. When trying to cover up a misdeed that you have committed (such as a hit or pinch), make sure to wait until your victim has retaliated, and then repeat the following to your mother or father, "Mooooooooommm (make sure to drag out the middle vowel as it sounds dramatic and will thereby increase your success rate), ________ (fill in the blank with your victim's name) just hit me." Be careful not to mention that you landed the first blow as this will get you in worse trouble.

2. Never tattle when the adult is on the phone. This will get you nowhere. In fact, not only will the adult not listen to your plea, they will most likely just turn the TV on for you so that they can finish their important business.

3. When tattling, try to be expressive. No one ever got somebody else in trouble with a blank face. Some suggested ideas: pouty lips, moist eyes, and quivering chin.

4. Beware of the dreaded "tattling backfire." You must take caution to tattle at spontaneous intervals. If you consistently tell on someone else, you lose all credibility. Extreme cases often result in timeout and/or extra chores for the taler. Such cases are rare but known to exist.

5, Perfect your "tattle voice." The recipe for success is as follows: 1 part whine & 1 part sincerity.

6. There is no point in tattling on your sibling to your mother when she has "tired eyes." You will know them when you see them: droopy lids, dark circles, and squinting.

As you make use of these techniques and suggestions, we hope that you will find that will get more of what you want, and that your brother and/or sister will get less of what they want.

The Distinguished Authors

The Ole' Ball and Chain

It's been 7 years, folks.

7 Years ago tomorrow we tied the knot.

Said "I do."

Exchanged vows.

Strapped on the ole' ball and chain.

And I've got to say - - - it's not been so bad.

I guess we've got it alright. (If you haven't noticed the tongue in cheek yet, now is the time to notice it.)

The kids are okay. Sometimes they drive us crazy. And then sometimes they make our hearts so full that they might burst.

We are the normal couple.

We love each other. We get bugged at the quirks. We take turns. We compromise. We laugh together.

But then there are THOSE MOMENTS.

You know what I mean:

• The time he grew sideburns across half of his cheeks and down to his chin because I liked it.
• The time that he told Calvin and Wyatt that they were his second best friends because I would always be his first.
• The time we made Eggs Benedict together for date night. And they were so terrible that neither one of us could finish them. And then Eggs Benedict came to mean "disgusting" in our married language. And now we laugh if that dish ever comes up in conversation.
• The time he came home with a potted flower for me for no reason.
• The time I got so mad at him that I tried to throw a golf club as far as I could, and we both had to laugh because it landed only 2 feet away.
• The time we sat and stared at each other for about 3 hours. With blank looks on our faces. And an overwhelming sense of fear. That was also the day we moved into and saw for the first time our first apartment in NYC. That was rough.
• The time we laughed together because Calvin laughed so hard that he threw up.
• The time he called to tell me that he got into NYU, and I almost dropped the phone in the bathtub. And we couldn't contain our excitement.
• The time when we hadn't picked out a name for our second son. That was also the time that as soon as baby #2 was born, we looked at him. And Noah said, "You know what his name has to be, don't you?" And we both said at the same time, "Wyatt."
• The time Noah tried to convince me to put up the Christmas tree in June. Oh, wait, that was last week.
• The time I brought him a book from the library that was really just a bunch of comic books bound together, and I became Wife of the Year.

You get it. It's the small stuff. It's the little everyday things.

I'm hoping for at least another 70 years of the everyday.