To My Peeps

Peeps #1 (all readers of this blog),
I'm sorry to be lagging in my posts, but our computer has a virus. I am going to blame this on our family's lack of healthy computer skills. We seldom wash our hands before we type on the computer. Not to mention the fact that I am sure I sneezed on it recently. Anyhooo, why don't you stroll around the archives until we are up and running.

Sincerely,
Yo Mama

Peeps #2 (My Most Dear and Beloved Marshmallow, Seasonal Easter Candy),
I love you. I love all variations in forms and color. I will gladly secretly eat five of you at a time while my children are engaged in other areas of the house. You mean the world to me. Yummmmmmm...............mmmmmmmmmmm

Much Love,
Yo Mama

Open Letter to Sliders, Open Letter to Smoking Man, and Random Pics from the Park

Dear Sliders and Parents of Sliders:

I just want you to know that it is okay for a child to go UP a slide. You don't have to just go DOWN to use it correctly. In fact, I know for a fact that there are no such rules out there that stipulate that a slide is only for going down.

I will admit that there are issues of etiquette when using a slide, but I must say that they are the normal rules of etiquette that apply to everything else in this world: take turns, be courteous, and don't hurt anyone.

See! Easy.

From now on I don't want to see anymore dirty looks when my kids are climbing up the slide because I will just ignore you and pretend that I don't hear what you are saying to your kid (but actually trying to say to me through your kid.)

For example, when you and I are standing next to each other, watching your child slide down as my child is climbing up, and you say to your child, "Go ahead and slide down. Slides are for sliding down. He'll move." I will respond to my child (really to you), "Keep climbing, honey! You were climbing up first, so it's really your turn. Also, you are so fast and stealthy. Plus, you know that you can have a good time climbing up! I'm very proud of the fact that you are so strong and into staying fit. I hope that you continue to make great exercise choices that challenge you. I hope that you continue to realize that sliding down a slide (though very fun) has no REAL cardiovascular benefits!"

Sincerely,

Yo Mama

Dear Smoking Man:

Sir, I just want to take a moment to thank you for parenting for me. I really appreciate you telling my child not to climb a ladder at the playground when he is wearing crocs because crocs are so "f*****g slippery" and could "kill you."

I am so glad that you saw that I saw him climbing, but still felt like it was good to trump my decision to let him climb.

Thanks for exposing him to second-hand smoke and the mother-of-all-curse-words because he doesn't get too much of that at home. You know how it is: you get so busy will all of the housework (paying bills, vacuuming, making dinner) that you forget to do the important stuff like curse in front of the three year old.

Sincerely,

Yo Mama

The Green Chair Makes a Good Nap

A nap in The Green Chair. Is there a greater pleasure in life? Our beloved Green chair was a hand-me-down from my Aunt and Uncle. Come to think of it, most of our furniture is a hand-me-down from someone, but The Green Chair, as we lovingly refer to it, is one of our favorites.

Granted, we have worked that chair over. We love to sit, rock, and recline it to death. It has been super handy when babies are crying or sick, Nintendo needed to be comfortably played, or late-evening dosing needed to be done.

We have used it so much that we have worn the leather padding of the leg rest off. There used to be a useless flap of leather hanging off of it, revealing the innards of the chair, until recently when I just HAD to trim it. You see, company was coming, and I couldn't possibly let them see the chair with the leather flap hanging uselessly and revealing the inside of the chair. So, like a good housewife who knows that she must make her home look nice, I just cut the flap off. (See picture for clarification.)

Phew!

It looks so much better now that all you can see is the batting, foam, and metal bars.

ANYWAY, that chair is good for a late-evening nap. So, I took one on Thursday. And this is what happened while I napped.

Pepe Le Pew was helping Cyrus smile. According to young Pepe, Cyrus actually likes it.

Cyrus seems happy enough.

Then the Big Boys had to try on Dad's coat. It's a little bit small for them, but I think that it fits well enough to get them through the winter.

Noah and I keep a running list of items that will not be moving with us when we depart the lovely Island of Staten in May. The Green Chair is at the top of the list, as are many other used (and used and used and used and used) items. However, I have to be honest. Just writing up this post makes me a little a misty.

You see, The Oreo Cream and I spent a lot of newborn and infant moments in that chair. We had some more just this last week when he got sick. Cyrus has had his fair share of moments as well. Young Pepe Le Pew loves to hang with Dr. Shafer and play Nintendo there. Heck, even Yo' Mama has had to fully recline herself in that chair when preggo just to catch her breath.

Maybe we won't take it to the curb.

Or maybe we will.

Maybe we won't take it to the curb, and maybe we will just Bronze it and keep it. Probably not. Noah and I are not hanger-oners.

Maybe I should have just kept the flap.

Lame-O

Have you ever gotten all of your kids ready? Dressed, fed, combed, zipped, and mittened? Then led them hurriedly to the car so that you could go to play group and the store? Buckled everyone in? Put the key in the ignition?

And - - - - - - - - -

Turned the key - - - - - -

And - - - - -

Nothing

LAME-O!

That was our Friday. I was so bummed. So, so bummed. I popped the hood and thought just about every curse word that I could. Slammed the hood and packed all of the youngins back in the house.

After watching a consolatory episode of "16 and Pregnant" with my Caffeine Free Diet Dr. Pepper, I was ready to accept that I wasn't going anywhere. And thus, we salvaged the day.

And these pictures are what we have to show for it.

Look at this kid. Just look at him. He's so dreamy. Doesn't he just look like he parted his lips to recite a Robert Frost poem? I couldn't resist him and gave him like a ga-zillion kisses. To which he responded, "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."

I'm kidding. Seriously, he didn't say that. He said, "uhhhhh guuuuu." But I still thought it was brilliant.

Then there was this guy. I am not sure what I had asked him to do an impression of, but it still cracks me up. And no, I had not caught him in the middle of saying something. He held this pose for like 2 minutes while I laughed and got the camera. Also humorously noteworthy, the shirt that he buttoned up all by himself after completely undressing to do his bathroom business. What can I say? There must be something to his pooping in the nude because he is committed to it.

A Wicked, Good Time

Thanks for the Valentine's Day present, honey. How did you know just what I wanted? Was it because you knew that I had played the "Wicked" Lottery and ga-zillion times and lost everytime? Or was it the way I said that it was one of the two remaining items on my NYC Bucket List? Or maybe it was the way I bought my ticket and asked you if you wanted to give it to me for Valentine's Day.

Either way - - - it was perfect.

17 inches!!!

It was a doozy! 17 inches of snow! You know what that means. I am suffering major "snow guilt." Yep, that's what I call not wanting to take my kids out in the snow. Putting on and taking off snow clothing are Mommy chores that I despise.

I don't even know why. It's not like I have to do it that often. Maybe 2 or 3 times per year - - - max. Still, I hate it. So, I feel guilty when I try and distract my kids from going outside. Lucky for me I tricked them into putting on swimming floaties and goggles. That was interesting enough to keep their minds off of the snow for the whole day.

I had to leave the cave today though. We went outside and watched my #1 shovel the car out of this gargantuan, huge, snowy mess. He's a real champ. He even shoveled the curb by my parking space, so I could get in and out so easy. His Daddy taught him well how to treat a lady (that's me - - - I'm the lady).

But aside from the snow guilt, it was a premo day. Noah (and just about every other person in NYC) stayed home on Wednesday. We piddled around, downloading music (it's 90's or nothing for us - - - we live for the good ole' days), eating, eating, sewing, doing laundry, playing Super Nintendo, and chatting on the phone.

It was a good day.

To the Middle Child

Wyatt used to be the baby.

Until 4 months ago when this guy came around.

Now he's the middle.

I can sympathize with him.

I, too, am a middle child.

If you can call #4 of 6 the middle, that is.

Here you are, just minding your own business - - - enjoying the luxuries of being "the baby." And then,

Wha-POW!!!

You are on your own.

And I do mean, on your own. Comments like these are now commonplace:

• you have to walk, I have to carry the baby
• I need you to be my big boy and carry this bag for me
• let me feed the baby and then I can help you

Calvin knows all about this. It happened to him when Wyatt was born. When Cyrus came along, he said, "Oh yeah, I've seen this before." And he just went about his business knowing that Mom still loves him, but has another ball to juggle. He already knows that he gets the nervous attention that Mom's love to dole out to their first-born. Where every new experience is a big deal.

Wyatt doesn't get the new experience attention

OR

the I-am-the-baby-attention.

So, he makes his own attention.

That's why Middle Children are awesome. (No offense to any Eldest or Babies reading this post). Middles know that in order to get some attention they have to make it good.

So, I get lots of eccentric moments of Wyatt drawing on his own face and hanging in his undies with his plethora of puppies.

And doing happy dances like this:

And that is why Wyatt is the Oreo Cream. And everybody loves the Oreo Cream.