Gobble Gobble

An exercise in post-modern poetry writing by Yo Mama, dedicated to The In-Laws in an effort to verbalize and memorialize a killer weekend.

Thanksgiving.
One visit stretching Wednesday through Sunday.
Exciting. Each Moment a mix between vacation and easy street.

Emily.
I would sit up until 2 a.m. with you any morning.
Searching. To understand just what our vampire powers would be.
At least we can be sure that yours would be that of a skilled fabric stapler.
You have a gift.

Use it wisely.

If you liked it, you should have put a ring on it.
One hour in a laundry basket.
Laughing at Beyonce and Justin Timberlake. (Click Here if you want in on our joke.)

Mimaw.
The boys are still crying at the mention of your name.
You did too many dishes and brought too many gifts.

Pipaw.
Wyatt never sat so still during any treatment as when he sat on your lap.
So still.
What skill to tame the youngster's asthma.

Nathan and Joelle.
The nomad sleepers.
Thanks for the bread.
Your choice of pancake was sublime.

Synopsis: A successful Thanksgiving with Boston Market Turkey, homemade sides, and P.I.E. We were blessed because no one left their underwear on the counter and everyone got at least one nap. Sometimes two.

So Proud

I'm so proud of Calvin because now he is hanging up his own clothes instead of throwing them on the ground. I'm so glad that he knows to hang up his "dress" clothes. We would hate for nice clothing to get all wrinkled!! Take, for instance, this pair of Elmo underwear. It is too fancy to be shoved in a drawer. No, no. It is hanger-worthy.

I Wouldn't Be Able To Sleep Tonight

If I didn't share this video with you.

Treadmill Musings, Part II

1. Why is Sponge-Bob such a controversial cartoon? Either parents love it or hate it. We love it.
2. Is it too much to have Italian for two dinner two nights in a row?
3. I think it's funny that those black pants Deana gave me in college were my favorite, and I never thought I would find another pair like them EVER again. Yet here I stand, in another pair of perfect black workout pants. The world is such a funny place.
4. Yesterday when Calvin saw the dog hanging out of the car window and said, "Hey puppy, barf at us!" meaning, "bark at us!" may have been the funniest moment of the day.
5. Is that Wyatt I hear?

2 1/2 minute pause in thought to lip synch Wide Open Spaces by the Dixie Chicks.

6. I used to like the way that one Dixie chick did her hair back in 1999. You know, the crazy braids and hair sticking out everywhere. But I think if anyone did that now and asked me what I thought about it, I would totally in my mind say, "Seriously, go brush your hair." On the outside I might just squint my eyes and nod like I thought it was reasonable, and say, "I like your hair better down." I wonder if that is a diplomatic enough way of saying I don't like it.
7. I hate the laundry.
8. I would love to each a ham and brie sandwhich, followed by a slice of pumpkin pie.
9. How does the cocoamotion make such a delightful cup of cocoa? It has to be the frothing and whipping. What is frothing? Note to self: look up frothing.
10. I hope Calvin is having a good day at preschool.

I'm Taking Suggestions

What are you reading right now? No, not my blog. I mean, what's sitting on your nightstand?

I'm looking for a good read. Something that isn't j.ust02.3

That little type-o was Wyatt's contribution to this post. He's not happy that my attention is elsewhere.

What I meant was: something that isn't just okay. I'm looking for OH. SO. GOOD kinda good.

Anyhoo, give me some suggestions. It's been awhile since I've read a good book. Crazy. I know.

Movie Review: Twilight

This date night ended up in a split. The guys met their destiny in a Quantum of Solace, while the ladies were seduced by Twilight (no, to answer your question, it was not ironic that we couples split to see a movie about love). It was a nice compromise, don't you think? The only bad thing was that the guys were finished before the girls and snuck into the last 15 minutes of the movie. The secret was out: to an outsider, vampire love seems kinda dumb. HUH? I did not just say that. Oh yeah, I went there.I guess the question isn't so much, "How much do you love Twilight?" BUT "How much cheese do you like on your cracker?" Oh baby, I like me some cheese. This movie was the perfect blend of cheesy/fulfilling. From Jacob's luxurious wig to Edward's brooding eyes, I was in. I knew it would be good when I sat down with milk duds in my right hand and a fountain coke in my left. Although I'm not a card carrying member of the facebook group "I-have-unrealistic-expectations-of-men-because-I-read-Twilight," I have to admit that I am a sucka for the age old dilemma of impossible love between a vampire and a human.

All of you men out there who read my blog, of which I am sure there are a ga-zillion, go home and send your wife to the movie with her girlfriends. It was too hard to control my laughs at the bad acting . . . and sighs at the young love. If your husband doesn't read this blog you should probably just send me some money, and I'll pick you up a pirated copy in Chinatown. I'm offering free shipping this week only.

Don't they just look so tormented, yet "in love" in this pic? I mean, seriously, what would you do if you were in their situation? It's not like you can just walk away from that kind of love. And why would you? See, teenage mortals and vampires can fall in love. It just goes to show that you can work through anything. Divorce would never happen if people just looked to Edward and Bella's example.

Now, I'm headed back to my own personal dreamland. Where real love blossoms between a woman and her dirty dishes. Where unrequited love for ones laundry is omnipresent. Where passion takes on the form of yes, you guessed it, baking. Yes, you ladies know what I mean. I'm speaking of the undying love for housework. Oh, and of course your hunka-hunka burning love. That just goes without saying.

Go On. See If You Can Beat Me In Geography.

Let's just say that you have plenty of time. Maybe you are independently wealthy (as are most of my ga-zillion blog readers) and don't have responsibilities, or maybe you are hiding from your kids in the basement to get your legally promised 15 minute afternoon break (do you remember those? just one perk lost when you became your own mommy-boss), or maybe you are supposed to be going to bed but keep looking at the clock saying "why can't I just go to bed?!", or MAYBE you are just steady chilling before you head out to da club.

Anyhoo, if you've got a spare moment. Click this link and play the 50 states game. Seriously. Try and tie me. You can't beat me. I got 100%.

I double dog dare you.

Chicken?

Bock. Bock.