Calvin = Pepe Le Pew

My dear, sweet, Calvin is no respecter of personal space. He is the very incarnation of Pepe Le Pew. You know, the adoring, cartoon skunk.

If by chance you are sitting all by yourself, Calvin will be the first one to hop up on your lap for a snuggle. And it is pure bliss to snuggle with him. He will gently twirl your hair with his index finger. Or he might just give you a soft little kiss on the cheek. Or maybe he will even just rest his arm around your shoulder.
It is wonderful.

Then, slowly. The twirl will get tighter and tighter until it pulls at the nape of your neck. You might turn your head or shake it to loosen the tangled finger.

And before you can blink, that index finger is all twirled up all over again.

The kisses will soon multiply until you are covered all over your face. And even your arm. Or hand. Or even your ear.

What's wrong with that you might say????

Oh, just the slobber. Just the thin layer of spit spread head to toe.

And that hug you might ask? What is the matter with that arm resting on your shoulder?

It turns into a vice grip, folks. Then that vice grip turns directly into a wrestling move. Then the wrestling move turns into an all out mauling session. And before you know it, you are standing up and trying to pry him from hanging on your neck as if you were a tree branch that he loves to swing on.

Below you see photo documentation of Pepe in action.

Exhibit A

Cyrus, infant victim getting more love than he can handle. Calvin is unfazed by the suffering. He just loves the love.

Exhibit B

Wyatt watching TV. He doesn't even suspect that Calvin's casual relaxation just above his head will soon turn into a wrestling match.

Exhibit C

The hug that turned into a wrestle.

Exhibit D

Pepe moving in for the kill. He is going to kiss me. A lot. You can't tell, but that hand on my cheek is very strong. I couldn't turn my head if I wanted to.

But, oh, where would I be without my little Pepe Le Pew?????

I would be so sad without him. I would have no wrestle buddy. I would have no sweet little boy that gives me more kisses and hugs than I can bear. I would be a woman with lots more personal space.

But an unfulfilled woman nonetheless.

And The Winner Is . . . . .

Yep, My Mom. I cross my heart, hope to die, stick a thousand needles in my eye that this drawing was not rigged. She just won.

And she won some of New York City's finest treats - - - Black & White cookies. Lucky for her I am going to hand deliver them to her in less than 24 hours.

Holiday Giveaway

? ? ? ? ? ? ?

What could it be????

If you want to win a little sumpin' sumpin' from me, leave a comment. I will draw the name of the lucky winner in one week, so don't waste time dilly-dallying.

Sincerely,

Yo' Mama

The Agenda

Cyrus and I woke up before anyone else. We crept downstairs and made breakfast for the little boys / packed lunch for the big boy (Noah).

Listened to Wyatt come downstairs and tell me that puppies are not afraid of being flushed down the potty because no one really gets flushed down the potty.

Made myself a big bowl of steel cut oatmeal. Almost got to eat my oatmeal before I was needed to turn on an episode of Super Hero Squad.

Seized the moment when the stars aligned: big boys watching Super Hero Squad, baby napping. I jumped on the treadmill.

Daydreamed through my run about having a yard and all of the things I would do including: set up a slip n' slide, plant a garden, and have backyard summer bbqs.

Showered, put on make-up, almost got to the oatmeal, but Cyrus woke up. And as Judge Judy says, "Your kid eats before you do." So, I fed him.

Wallowed around on the couch with Wyatt doing nothing.

Washed dishes and realized that I was hungry. It was 11. Boys snacked on Doritos and pink kool-aid. I ate my oatmeal.

Almost took a nap. Remembered that the harder you work the better you feel.

Loaded up the kids. Went to the library. Library was closed.

I was bugged and not about to go back to my house after I spent so long getting everybody dressed.

No, we took the trip to Target and bought two very important items: deodorant and soap.

Came home.

Almost took another nap. I watched Tyler's Ultimate instead and decided I needed to eat a jazzed up grilled cheese sometime soon.

Coaxed Wyatt to put his underwear back on. Threatened to call Santa if the boys didn't clean up their mess on the floor.

Made Cyrus smile by saying, "Yes you are!" in a high pitched, sweet voice. (documented by Calvin, see photo).

Made chili for dinner, talked to Steph.

Actually had to call Santa and tell him the boys weren't listening to their Mom. He told me to tell them that they had one more chance to pick up their junk or else they would go on the naughty list.

Sighed a sigh of relief as I overlooked my clean living room. (Thanks Santa).

Noah came home, and I felt myself relax.

We ate dinner.

I didn't like dinner.

Bugged that I wasted by points on that dinner.

Washed dishes, talked to Jaime.

We all took turns playing Super Mario World, but only Noah could get 99 extra men. I tried, but I kept losing Yoshi and my cape.

I am better at Tetris.

Sent Wyatt to bed early for being cu-razy and not listening for the billionenth time today.

Listened to Noah sleep-breath on the couch as he fell asleep during "Ultimate Gingerbread House" Competition.

Sent Calvin to bed after a gratuitous episode of Spongebob.

Sent Cyrus to bed all snugged up in his sleeper sack jammies. (He's the sweetest).

Swept the floor, took out the trash, and settled into "the green chair" for a little bit of TV.

The end.

The Possibilities Are Endless

There are far too many possible captions to add to these pictures. So why stop at one?

1. A face only a mother could love.
2. Is that your child or an animal?
3. Watch out! It's rabid! It's already bitten through the magnifying glass!
4. You should see him without the magnifying glass.
5. It's true. Life gets a little slow around here, and this is what we do when we get bored.
6. Wyatt's secret, hidden twin - - - Corky.
7. These are our top two pics from his head shots. We are seriously thinking of shopping them around for some kid modeling. Which do you like best?
8. Happy Holidays! (imagine the picture on the front of our nonexistent Christmas card)

I Am Little More Than A Vulture

(This picture has nothing to do with this post, but I just think they look adorable.)

I realized today that I have gone there. A leisurely stroll past the kitchen table stopped me dead in my tracks. I saw a half-eaten fig newton abandoned on the kitchen table. And like a good Mom, I popped it right in my mouth.

At that moment I claimed my status as the scavenger of the home.

Mommy scavenger will eat pretty much anything off of her kids' plates. In fact, it has gotten so bad that I find myself getting impatient when I watch them chow down on their Happy Meals. I just want them to quit dilly-dallying around, eat, and let me at the leftovers. Even worse is when I pick at their french fries so much that when the meal is over they are still hungry.

Not my best moment.

OR

How pathetic is it when you use your kids to get an extra couple of samples from the Sam's Club sample lady? Then when you round the corner, you convince them that they don't like tiny quiche.

Pretty Pathetic.

Or how about when they get treat bags from birthday parties, and you ration out the candy to them, and then secretly indulge when they are in another room?

Check. I've done that too.

My worst indiscretion, however, is probably hiding in the basement, so they won't ask for bites of my food. What?! You mean you have never wanted to selfishly devour your own cookie.

Well, I have.

Many times.

For Mom

A Bedtime Story & A New Year's Resolution

Story Translation:

A long, long time ago there was a blue puppy named Rico. He turned around and saw Dr. Doom and pooped on him.

Resolution:

See if we can go 1 month without a post involving poop.

Let's Talk Turkey

The boys and I got into the festive mood a day early and made these Oreo turkeys. Too bad I was wrapping up the Tour de No Sugar, or believe you me, I would have annihilated those candy corn turkey feathers. I have never deliberately passed up a candy corn. Except that crazy Indian corn. I no likee.That eye there on the left looks a little like it might start crying. I am not sure why I was so emotional about that those turkeys. Maybe I was just sad that they had to give their little lives to us Shafers so that we could remember to be grateful for junk food.

Poor, poor Calvin. As you might gather from the picture, it was surely no accident that his turkey was broken into a thousand pieces. It wasn't me. I didn't break it, but I know a three year old that might have. W-Y-A-T-T. He ain't no respecter of handmade crafts.

Do you see that Meemaw covered in Grandkid boys and babies????? I can't tell who was happier, the sleeping baby, older brothers, or Meemaw.
Pipaw. Or as the boys say, Peep. He is waaaaayyyyyyy fun. Not to out him or anything, but you only wish that you could make up songs on the fly like he does.

I'm thankful for my family. And that I am finally done with that "No Sugar" junk. 6 weeks is too long to live without the good stuff.

Third Time is a Charm

Or

The Third Child is a Charmer

Seriously, look at this kid! He is adorable and lovable.


I could lie to you and tell you that everything is so hard and that three kids is working me over, but I gotta be honest. He's a good, sweet baby who must surely love his mama to go so easy on me.


I'm not saying that we don't have rough spots here and there, but mostly it's good. I guess I might finally be gaining a foothold in this mom-thing. Now, I can sit back and say, "Oh yeah, I've seen this before." (said when he had a blowout up his back). I can chill out when he starts to cry because I have finally realized that, "Hey, I guess since he doesn't speak, crying must be his language." I think that I may be fluent in baby language now. As a result, I have realized that holding the baby and doing the Electric Slide a ga-zillion times in a row to get him to calm down may not always be the answer.

Things are good. Life is good. My kiddos are good. My hubby is good.

Candy is good. Krispy Kreme Doughnuts are better.

My old couches are not good, no matter how many times you wash the cushion covers. Cleaning the baseboards and walls is not good. It's bad, real bad.