Just One of Those Things You Hope Doesn't Damage Your Child For Life

Dear Past Katie,

Given the past week's exciting events, I feel it was necessary to go back in time and give you a head's up on what you have coming your way. I'll just give you a few tidbits of advice. I know how you hate to be told what to do. I know how you just like to make it up as you go, so I won't step on your toes with lengthy advice.

• When you start to potty train Wyatt (again) don't be discouraged if he doesn't want to poop on the first day.


• Don't be discouraged if he doesn't want to poop on the second. Maybe start to worry a little, but don't stay up too late worrying, after all you do have a newborn to feed in the middle of the night. You need that beauty sleep.


• At this point, try to stuff him full of fiber. Feed him at least 3 bran muffins and watch him like a hawk. This is not the time to risk an "accident."


• Don't be discouraged if he doesn't want to poop on the third day. It might, however, be a good idea to start to worry for real. In fact, why don't you try to use a gentle laxative on him? Maybe try some of that chocolate ex-lax? BUT, ONLY SMALL DOSES. Like, half of a square.


• Remember that a good Mom always puts away tempting medicine so that he kids don't stumble on it and try to eat it.


• If Wyatt accidentally eats 6 adult servings of Ex-Lax because you were busy fixing your hair and not putting up medicine, DON'T FREAK OUT.


• Okay, after the freak out, call poison control. Don't get too embarrassed when the operator can't hide the smile and laughter as he tells you that your son will be fine, but will be pooping a lot.


• Don't sigh when you remember that he has been on a poop strike for 3 days. Call your Mom, Noah, and Susie to laugh it up.


• If you can, try to spend as much time as possible in the bathroom for the next 6-12 hours coaxing Wyatt to stay on the potty while you read "Go, Dog, Go" a thousand-bazillion ga-trillion times.
• When he finally does poop, tell him how proud you are of him.


• Finally, when you realize after a few trips to the potty that your son is cool with using it, get a smug look on your face because . . . . . . the fact that he ate a huge brick of Ex-Lax was actually quite serendipitous. HE'S POTTY TRAINED!!

Past Katie, seriously, you're awesome. What a Mom! Well, despite that minor Mommy infraction of leaving tasty medicine on the counter, you are the bomb!

Take Care,

Future, Already Been There Katie

Perspective

Half-Full

• I successfully made my Mom's roll recipe. It was only my millionth try.
• I got all of today's laundry folded.
• I had dinner on the table at a decent time.
• I showered and put on make-up.
• I read to the boys.
• I cuddled with Cyrus a lot.
• I got Wyatt to use the potty all by himself all day today. Not one pee accident. (This is huge.)

Half-Empty

• I ran out of sugar while making my Mom's roll recipe and used brown sugar. It wasn't the same.
• The laundry was completely wrinkled because it was sitting in the basket for who knows how long.
• Though dinner was on the table, the appetites were absent. As we started to eat, Calvin leaned over and whispered in my ear, "This dinner is so yucky. I think I'll just eat rolls."
• I did shower and put on make-up. Then I promptly put my pajamas back on.
• I read to the boys in the bathroom while trying to get Wyatt to do #2. That isn't my first choice in reading rooms.
• I cuddled with Cyrus a lot. He was kind enough to cry in my ear for most of the time.
• I got Wyatt to use the potty all by himself today. Except for that one accident. On the kitchen floor. And it wasn't #1.

Philly

We did it all for the cheese steaks. Though we saw many of the sights of Philadelphia, let's just be honest. We were there to eat a cheese steak. We are not history buffs, we are foodies. And even though we got the sandwiches later in the day after the sight seeing, we'll just go ahead and address the pictures now. What?! It was a good sandwich.

This was the line for Pat's. In the background you can see Geno's. Don't waste your time on the flashy neon lights of Geno's (seen in the background). Go to Pat's. Okay, so I've never tasted Geno's, but Pat's was mighty fine.

Ahhhh..... I love this picture. It is nerdiness only a Mom can accomplish. Seriously, I know I look like a cheeseball, but I was on cloud 9 after my sammy. Oh, and yes, Cyrus did have crumbs on him. You can't eat with your child in a baby carrier without getting something on them. Poor kid. It's my experience that he's going to be getting a lot more crumbs on him in the upcoming months.

And on to the sight seeing. This is Betsy Ross' house. I don't know. She's just some lady who made some flag.

Attempt at a family picture in front of Independence Hall. Calvin l-o-v-e-d to cooperate in this one.

So, we just cut the kids out of this next one. But don't we parents look like we love the Liberty Bell?

And we're all back for a picture in the room where the Constitution was signed. This was the best part of the tour. You know, the part where our kids just tried to run around through the hallowed room. Then it got better when Wyatt fell down, hit his head, and cried - - - big time. So much that the tour guide had to address it later on. Ahhhh, kids make everything easy.

This is a nice candid shot. Noah loves to catch me off guard (want more? click here). I think that I was standing up from getting something off of the floor. And no, I am not in a bad mood or giving the camera a dirty look. I'm just using a transition face. I guess. Maybe I was mad that I had to stand up.

Some modern art work. We appreciate art. That's why we tried to climb it.

AND, The Philadelphia Museum of Art (aka the steps that Rocky ran up in the Rocky movie). Needless to say, we all ran up the steps and then did that boxing dance where you punch the air and raise your fists. Shameless. I know.

Adorable picture of Wyatt sitting on the steps after he ran them. Yes, he ran them. What a champ.

And this is what Cyrus did all day long. What a cutie pie.

The Banditos

(The Banditos: Wyatt, Daddy, Calvin, Cyrus-not pictured)

The Banditos are an EXCLUSIVE, all-boys club, whose headquarters are located right here in my apartment. The founding member of this club is known to most outsiders as "Daddy." Membership into this club is extended to all males in the Shafer family. Members convene in the evening after their fearless leader returns from a hard days work in "the real world."

Banditos are many things, but chiefly they are TOUGH. They spend most of their time honing and sharpening their skills through rigorous practice. Practice includes, but is not limited to: jumping on the bed, jumping over each other on the bed, wrestling, and pretending to fall down.

Most bandito meetings involve some sort of important conversation involving superheros, either which one they are or whose powers they would like to have. Favorite superheros discussed include: Hulk, Ironman, Thor, The Silver Surfer, Reptil, and any other member of the Super Hero Squad.

Many women might scream and stomp up and down, complaining that they have been ousted from this all boys extravaganza. Then there are smart women like myself. A woman who recognizes a good thing when she sees it. A woman who knows that a man that takes his boys and plays with them after she has had a long day tending to their teeny, tiny needs is a lucky woman. She knows that she is lucky to catch a break and squeeze in a juicy thirty minutes of Access Hollywood . . . . . . completely . . . . . . undisturbed.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

A Little Sumpin' Sumpin' For the Grandparents

No Tricks. Just Treats.

H A P P Y H A L L O W E E N !!!!!!

Was your Halloween as good as ours? Did you get a truck load of candy? Are you just staring at it as it sits on your counter??? Is your will power as good as mine?? I still haven't had any yet. And yes, I'm jonesing for it bad, but I'm not going to give in. No, no, no. My willpower is stronger than a fun size snickers.

Cast of Characters:

Cyrus . . . . . Superman

Wyatt . . . . . The Homemade Puppy (thanks Jeigh)

Calvin . . . . . DK, as in Donkey Kong. (Please don't call him "a cute monkey with a tie" or "Curious George")

Mommy . . . . . Louis Lane (I had a little bit of trouble with the bun in my hair, glasses, and skirt suit, but otherwise I have to say that I think I'm a dead ringer for her)

Daddy . . . . . . The Invisible Man (or just someone kind enough to take all of the pictures, but not be in any. Honey, thanks.)