Where Was I On That One???

1. Like the time I found a 1 pound block of cheddar in the fridge with two Wyatt-sized bite marks on both sides. Where was I?

2. Or how about the time I found an entire new roll of toilet paper floating in the toilet?

3. Where was I before I caught someone (still don't know who, though I have my suspicions) putting magic markers in the laundry thus turning some pants delightful shades of red?

4. Or where was I before I was one mile away from my house and heard Calvin saying, "Mom, stop the car! You forgot to buckle me!"

5. Oh, and don't forget this one: Where was I when I was checking out library books? Why had I already checked out, brought home, and read 3/4's of "Desser, the Best Cat Ever," before I realized that it was about dying cats?? And why didn't I just stop reading to prevent the free fall of tears about dying animals? Sheeeeeeeshhhhhh . . . . . . I was just trying to impart a love of reading.

I think I remember where I was: I think that I was either blogging, talking on the phone, or daydreaming about being on Dancing With The Stars.

All Stars

Have you seen the new baseball team on Staten Island???? They are very promising. Though missing a few players I think that they will have a successful season. Saturday was picture day. I think that we will for sure get the package with: 2 - 8 x10's of the whole team (one for Noah to take to school and hang in his locker and one to hang in our living room), and 16 wallets of just Noah's individual shots for family and friends.

MVP - Noah Shafer. I love this action shot. There wasn't a single thing planned about it - - - not the perfect form or serious look of concentration on his face.

The Catcher. He's good, and he can jump a fence and make it look like nothin'.

HomeSlice pictured below is the epitome of good picture taking skills. He wasn't even trying, and he managed perfect batting form.

This guy doesn't even need a bat when he is batting. He's that talented.

Life's a Potty

In the interest of good story telling, I have labeled the boys as #2 (on the left) and #1 (on the right).

Mommy Confession #1,393,483,994
#2 (the boy) is the boss of potty training. I really thought I could break him and train him to use the potty, but it has been confirmed to me that he, in fact, owns me.

Here's Where We're At
After a number of days sans clothing, running around the house and putting him on the potty whenever he looks like he might go, I decided that we were ready to leave the house in "big boys" (that's code for big boy undies).

Well, being the smart Mommy that I am, I took a few extra pair of undies and shorts, even though I was sure we wouldn't need them. After all, I successfully trained #1 just 2 years earlier (you like my pun).

I ventured to a doctor's appointment. One undie casualty, but caught quickly enough. Phew. Good thing I brought those extra big boys, right? Um, yeah.

After the doctor we went to playgroup at a friend's house. This is where the poop hit the fan. Or really the underwear. And the inner thigh. And a little bit of the calf. And even my wrist. Don't laugh. It wasn't funny.

Sooooooo, to sum it up: 4 #1 accidents, and 2 #2 accidents with #2.
The only real tragedy was the old pair of Elmo underwear that were sacrificed to the garbage when he pooped in them. It was just too disgusting to clean, so I cut them off of him and threw them away. Yes, cut them. I took a hint from the paramedics. You know how they cut people out of their seat belts when they are in a bad car wreck. I'm sure you can figure out my metaphor. If you need some help: car wreck = poop in the pants, people in the car wreck = Wyatt, seat belt = Elmo underwear.

Goodbye Elmo. You're elastic was showing anyway.

#2 Taunting Me. Potty Train Me, Mommy. I dare you.

AND FINALLY, TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY . . . . .

I checked out some potty training movie at the library. No luck. I couldn't get the boys to stop laughing long enough at the mention of the word, "poop" to watch it. And that word showed up a lot, so the laughing was abundant.

Whaddayagonnado?

Don't tell anyone, but I laughed too. I don't know if it was "that word" or just the hysterics it incited, but I couldn't help myself.

If Your Girl's Night Out Flops . . . .

because only one of your girls shows up. Here's whatcha do: save the fondue fixings for another day and head to Outback for a Bloomin' Onion. Eat a lot, and then try and prank someone who couldn't show up to par-tay.

Then, use the fondue a little later to party with the boys. I think they might be more fun anyway. Well, I guess it just kind of depends on what you're after. If you need some girl talk - - - 2 and 4 year old boys aren't you're best bet. If you need someone to be amazed that you would even let them have sharp sticks and dip sweets in chocolate and get chocolate everywhere including your ears, then 2 and 4 year old boys will do.

Here's What We Dipped.

Here's what we dipped it in. Or what was left of it after we were dipping.

Here's how we dipped it. Yep, two at a time. We Shafer's don't do food halfway, as in with only one hand.
And here's how we felt while we were eating it.

Except for Yo' Mama because my invention was too sophisticated for the stick. And in case you are wondering, it is: a Pepperidge Farm Milano dipped in chocolate, then topped with one slice of strawberry and one slice of banana. Then dipped in chocolate again. Noah's exact words were, "I guess if you are going to choke and die, then that is the way to go." To which I responded, "mmmmmmhhhhhhmmmm, dslfkjasldfd," Translation: "mmmmhhhhhmmmm, this is seriously awesome."

What I Saw While I'll Was Blogging.

YIKES!

For Jake

Don't worry, buddy, your day is coming - - very soon, when you will be able to taste a F-R-R-R-O-Z-E-N Hot Chocolate all on your own. Until then, here's a pretend one on me. I was thinking of you the whole time I was drinking it. And, YES, it is just as good as it looks!!! Who knows, maybe one day one will show up in the mail for you. I wonder how you would fit this yummy treat in an envelope?

Off To The Dentist

Did you know that you should take your children to the dentist as soon as they have all of their teeth??????

I hope that you are more on the ball than me and have taken your kiddos in. I waited until they 1) had all of their teeth 2) could speak in complete sentences and 3) are almost done with their first year of college. Okay, kidding, they aren't in college, but they were due for an exam and a cleaning.

I have a crush on their dentist. In fact, he's the finest thing on two legs. He just seemed to care so much for them and really give them special treatment.

Aye bay-bee, he is smokin' hot.

Here are a couple of pictures from our visit.

Calvin went first, and while he wasn't feeling so brave about it, he at least covered his eyes when he cried.

Look at the Dentist's form. So impressive. I'm going to recommend him to all of my friends.
Wyatt received some personalized brushing technique suggestions. I think his form has improved dramatically since this visit.
Wyatt shows promise as a future dentist as he guides the handsome dentist's hands in his own cleaning. I had no idea that Wyatt was such an involved patient.
Ahhh, there she is: the mama of the pack. I'm not sure what important, finger-wagging admonishments I am giving, but I am sure it is something like, "And this is the finger I like to hold up when I am referring to the number one. Also, please don't hit each other with your toothbrushes, at least not in front of your Dad's fellow students. It might embarrass us."
Lucky for us they gave the boys those cool fake sunglasses things or else they might have cried and ran around wildly while at their appointments. Or maybe they did run around wildly. I'm not sure, I was too busy flirting with the Dr.