Calvin = Pepe Le Pew

My dear, sweet, Calvin is no respecter of personal space. He is the very incarnation of Pepe Le Pew. You know, the adoring, cartoon skunk.

If by chance you are sitting all by yourself, Calvin will be the first one to hop up on your lap for a snuggle. And it is pure bliss to snuggle with him. He will gently twirl your hair with his index finger. Or he might just give you a soft little kiss on the cheek. Or maybe he will even just rest his arm around your shoulder.
It is wonderful.

Then, slowly. The twirl will get tighter and tighter until it pulls at the nape of your neck. You might turn your head or shake it to loosen the tangled finger.

And before you can blink, that index finger is all twirled up all over again.

The kisses will soon multiply until you are covered all over your face. And even your arm. Or hand. Or even your ear.

What's wrong with that you might say????

Oh, just the slobber. Just the thin layer of spit spread head to toe.

And that hug you might ask? What is the matter with that arm resting on your shoulder?

It turns into a vice grip, folks. Then that vice grip turns directly into a wrestling move. Then the wrestling move turns into an all out mauling session. And before you know it, you are standing up and trying to pry him from hanging on your neck as if you were a tree branch that he loves to swing on.

Below you see photo documentation of Pepe in action.

Exhibit A

Cyrus, infant victim getting more love than he can handle. Calvin is unfazed by the suffering. He just loves the love.

Exhibit B

Wyatt watching TV. He doesn't even suspect that Calvin's casual relaxation just above his head will soon turn into a wrestling match.

Exhibit C

The hug that turned into a wrestle.

Exhibit D

Pepe moving in for the kill. He is going to kiss me. A lot. You can't tell, but that hand on my cheek is very strong. I couldn't turn my head if I wanted to.

But, oh, where would I be without my little Pepe Le Pew?????

I would be so sad without him. I would have no wrestle buddy. I would have no sweet little boy that gives me more kisses and hugs than I can bear. I would be a woman with lots more personal space.

But an unfulfilled woman nonetheless.

And The Winner Is . . . . .

Yep, My Mom. I cross my heart, hope to die, stick a thousand needles in my eye that this drawing was not rigged. She just won.

And she won some of New York City's finest treats - - - Black & White cookies. Lucky for her I am going to hand deliver them to her in less than 24 hours.

Holiday Giveaway

? ? ? ? ? ? ?

What could it be????

If you want to win a little sumpin' sumpin' from me, leave a comment. I will draw the name of the lucky winner in one week, so don't waste time dilly-dallying.

Sincerely,

Yo' Mama

The Agenda

Cyrus and I woke up before anyone else. We crept downstairs and made breakfast for the little boys / packed lunch for the big boy (Noah).

Listened to Wyatt come downstairs and tell me that puppies are not afraid of being flushed down the potty because no one really gets flushed down the potty.

Made myself a big bowl of steel cut oatmeal. Almost got to eat my oatmeal before I was needed to turn on an episode of Super Hero Squad.

Seized the moment when the stars aligned: big boys watching Super Hero Squad, baby napping. I jumped on the treadmill.

Daydreamed through my run about having a yard and all of the things I would do including: set up a slip n' slide, plant a garden, and have backyard summer bbqs.

Showered, put on make-up, almost got to the oatmeal, but Cyrus woke up. And as Judge Judy says, "Your kid eats before you do." So, I fed him.

Wallowed around on the couch with Wyatt doing nothing.

Washed dishes and realized that I was hungry. It was 11. Boys snacked on Doritos and pink kool-aid. I ate my oatmeal.

Almost took a nap. Remembered that the harder you work the better you feel.

Loaded up the kids. Went to the library. Library was closed.

I was bugged and not about to go back to my house after I spent so long getting everybody dressed.

No, we took the trip to Target and bought two very important items: deodorant and soap.

Came home.

Almost took another nap. I watched Tyler's Ultimate instead and decided I needed to eat a jazzed up grilled cheese sometime soon.

Coaxed Wyatt to put his underwear back on. Threatened to call Santa if the boys didn't clean up their mess on the floor.

Made Cyrus smile by saying, "Yes you are!" in a high pitched, sweet voice. (documented by Calvin, see photo).

Made chili for dinner, talked to Steph.

Actually had to call Santa and tell him the boys weren't listening to their Mom. He told me to tell them that they had one more chance to pick up their junk or else they would go on the naughty list.

Sighed a sigh of relief as I overlooked my clean living room. (Thanks Santa).

Noah came home, and I felt myself relax.

We ate dinner.

I didn't like dinner.

Bugged that I wasted by points on that dinner.

Washed dishes, talked to Jaime.

We all took turns playing Super Mario World, but only Noah could get 99 extra men. I tried, but I kept losing Yoshi and my cape.

I am better at Tetris.

Sent Wyatt to bed early for being cu-razy and not listening for the billionenth time today.

Listened to Noah sleep-breath on the couch as he fell asleep during "Ultimate Gingerbread House" Competition.

Sent Calvin to bed after a gratuitous episode of Spongebob.

Sent Cyrus to bed all snugged up in his sleeper sack jammies. (He's the sweetest).

Swept the floor, took out the trash, and settled into "the green chair" for a little bit of TV.

The end.

The Possibilities Are Endless

There are far too many possible captions to add to these pictures. So why stop at one?

1. A face only a mother could love.
2. Is that your child or an animal?
3. Watch out! It's rabid! It's already bitten through the magnifying glass!
4. You should see him without the magnifying glass.
5. It's true. Life gets a little slow around here, and this is what we do when we get bored.
6. Wyatt's secret, hidden twin - - - Corky.
7. These are our top two pics from his head shots. We are seriously thinking of shopping them around for some kid modeling. Which do you like best?
8. Happy Holidays! (imagine the picture on the front of our nonexistent Christmas card)

I Am Little More Than A Vulture

(This picture has nothing to do with this post, but I just think they look adorable.)

I realized today that I have gone there. A leisurely stroll past the kitchen table stopped me dead in my tracks. I saw a half-eaten fig newton abandoned on the kitchen table. And like a good Mom, I popped it right in my mouth.

At that moment I claimed my status as the scavenger of the home.

Mommy scavenger will eat pretty much anything off of her kids' plates. In fact, it has gotten so bad that I find myself getting impatient when I watch them chow down on their Happy Meals. I just want them to quit dilly-dallying around, eat, and let me at the leftovers. Even worse is when I pick at their french fries so much that when the meal is over they are still hungry.

Not my best moment.

OR

How pathetic is it when you use your kids to get an extra couple of samples from the Sam's Club sample lady? Then when you round the corner, you convince them that they don't like tiny quiche.

Pretty Pathetic.

Or how about when they get treat bags from birthday parties, and you ration out the candy to them, and then secretly indulge when they are in another room?

Check. I've done that too.

My worst indiscretion, however, is probably hiding in the basement, so they won't ask for bites of my food. What?! You mean you have never wanted to selfishly devour your own cookie.

Well, I have.

Many times.

For Mom

A Bedtime Story & A New Year's Resolution

Story Translation:

A long, long time ago there was a blue puppy named Rico. He turned around and saw Dr. Doom and pooped on him.

Resolution:

See if we can go 1 month without a post involving poop.

Let's Talk Turkey

The boys and I got into the festive mood a day early and made these Oreo turkeys. Too bad I was wrapping up the Tour de No Sugar, or believe you me, I would have annihilated those candy corn turkey feathers. I have never deliberately passed up a candy corn. Except that crazy Indian corn. I no likee.That eye there on the left looks a little like it might start crying. I am not sure why I was so emotional about that those turkeys. Maybe I was just sad that they had to give their little lives to us Shafers so that we could remember to be grateful for junk food.

Poor, poor Calvin. As you might gather from the picture, it was surely no accident that his turkey was broken into a thousand pieces. It wasn't me. I didn't break it, but I know a three year old that might have. W-Y-A-T-T. He ain't no respecter of handmade crafts.

Do you see that Meemaw covered in Grandkid boys and babies????? I can't tell who was happier, the sleeping baby, older brothers, or Meemaw.
Pipaw. Or as the boys say, Peep. He is waaaaayyyyyyy fun. Not to out him or anything, but you only wish that you could make up songs on the fly like he does.

I'm thankful for my family. And that I am finally done with that "No Sugar" junk. 6 weeks is too long to live without the good stuff.

Third Time is a Charm

Or

The Third Child is a Charmer

Seriously, look at this kid! He is adorable and lovable.


I could lie to you and tell you that everything is so hard and that three kids is working me over, but I gotta be honest. He's a good, sweet baby who must surely love his mama to go so easy on me.


I'm not saying that we don't have rough spots here and there, but mostly it's good. I guess I might finally be gaining a foothold in this mom-thing. Now, I can sit back and say, "Oh yeah, I've seen this before." (said when he had a blowout up his back). I can chill out when he starts to cry because I have finally realized that, "Hey, I guess since he doesn't speak, crying must be his language." I think that I may be fluent in baby language now. As a result, I have realized that holding the baby and doing the Electric Slide a ga-zillion times in a row to get him to calm down may not always be the answer.

Things are good. Life is good. My kiddos are good. My hubby is good.

Candy is good. Krispy Kreme Doughnuts are better.

My old couches are not good, no matter how many times you wash the cushion covers. Cleaning the baseboards and walls is not good. It's bad, real bad.

Just One of Those Things You Hope Doesn't Damage Your Child For Life

Dear Past Katie,

Given the past week's exciting events, I feel it was necessary to go back in time and give you a head's up on what you have coming your way. I'll just give you a few tidbits of advice. I know how you hate to be told what to do. I know how you just like to make it up as you go, so I won't step on your toes with lengthy advice.

• When you start to potty train Wyatt (again) don't be discouraged if he doesn't want to poop on the first day.


• Don't be discouraged if he doesn't want to poop on the second. Maybe start to worry a little, but don't stay up too late worrying, after all you do have a newborn to feed in the middle of the night. You need that beauty sleep.


• At this point, try to stuff him full of fiber. Feed him at least 3 bran muffins and watch him like a hawk. This is not the time to risk an "accident."


• Don't be discouraged if he doesn't want to poop on the third day. It might, however, be a good idea to start to worry for real. In fact, why don't you try to use a gentle laxative on him? Maybe try some of that chocolate ex-lax? BUT, ONLY SMALL DOSES. Like, half of a square.


• Remember that a good Mom always puts away tempting medicine so that he kids don't stumble on it and try to eat it.


• If Wyatt accidentally eats 6 adult servings of Ex-Lax because you were busy fixing your hair and not putting up medicine, DON'T FREAK OUT.


• Okay, after the freak out, call poison control. Don't get too embarrassed when the operator can't hide the smile and laughter as he tells you that your son will be fine, but will be pooping a lot.


• Don't sigh when you remember that he has been on a poop strike for 3 days. Call your Mom, Noah, and Susie to laugh it up.


• If you can, try to spend as much time as possible in the bathroom for the next 6-12 hours coaxing Wyatt to stay on the potty while you read "Go, Dog, Go" a thousand-bazillion ga-trillion times.
• When he finally does poop, tell him how proud you are of him.


• Finally, when you realize after a few trips to the potty that your son is cool with using it, get a smug look on your face because . . . . . . the fact that he ate a huge brick of Ex-Lax was actually quite serendipitous. HE'S POTTY TRAINED!!

Past Katie, seriously, you're awesome. What a Mom! Well, despite that minor Mommy infraction of leaving tasty medicine on the counter, you are the bomb!

Take Care,

Future, Already Been There Katie

Perspective

Half-Full

• I successfully made my Mom's roll recipe. It was only my millionth try.
• I got all of today's laundry folded.
• I had dinner on the table at a decent time.
• I showered and put on make-up.
• I read to the boys.
• I cuddled with Cyrus a lot.
• I got Wyatt to use the potty all by himself all day today. Not one pee accident. (This is huge.)

Half-Empty

• I ran out of sugar while making my Mom's roll recipe and used brown sugar. It wasn't the same.
• The laundry was completely wrinkled because it was sitting in the basket for who knows how long.
• Though dinner was on the table, the appetites were absent. As we started to eat, Calvin leaned over and whispered in my ear, "This dinner is so yucky. I think I'll just eat rolls."
• I did shower and put on make-up. Then I promptly put my pajamas back on.
• I read to the boys in the bathroom while trying to get Wyatt to do #2. That isn't my first choice in reading rooms.
• I cuddled with Cyrus a lot. He was kind enough to cry in my ear for most of the time.
• I got Wyatt to use the potty all by himself today. Except for that one accident. On the kitchen floor. And it wasn't #1.

Philly

We did it all for the cheese steaks. Though we saw many of the sights of Philadelphia, let's just be honest. We were there to eat a cheese steak. We are not history buffs, we are foodies. And even though we got the sandwiches later in the day after the sight seeing, we'll just go ahead and address the pictures now. What?! It was a good sandwich.

This was the line for Pat's. In the background you can see Geno's. Don't waste your time on the flashy neon lights of Geno's (seen in the background). Go to Pat's. Okay, so I've never tasted Geno's, but Pat's was mighty fine.

Ahhhh..... I love this picture. It is nerdiness only a Mom can accomplish. Seriously, I know I look like a cheeseball, but I was on cloud 9 after my sammy. Oh, and yes, Cyrus did have crumbs on him. You can't eat with your child in a baby carrier without getting something on them. Poor kid. It's my experience that he's going to be getting a lot more crumbs on him in the upcoming months.

And on to the sight seeing. This is Betsy Ross' house. I don't know. She's just some lady who made some flag.

Attempt at a family picture in front of Independence Hall. Calvin l-o-v-e-d to cooperate in this one.

So, we just cut the kids out of this next one. But don't we parents look like we love the Liberty Bell?

And we're all back for a picture in the room where the Constitution was signed. This was the best part of the tour. You know, the part where our kids just tried to run around through the hallowed room. Then it got better when Wyatt fell down, hit his head, and cried - - - big time. So much that the tour guide had to address it later on. Ahhhh, kids make everything easy.

This is a nice candid shot. Noah loves to catch me off guard (want more? click here). I think that I was standing up from getting something off of the floor. And no, I am not in a bad mood or giving the camera a dirty look. I'm just using a transition face. I guess. Maybe I was mad that I had to stand up.

Some modern art work. We appreciate art. That's why we tried to climb it.

AND, The Philadelphia Museum of Art (aka the steps that Rocky ran up in the Rocky movie). Needless to say, we all ran up the steps and then did that boxing dance where you punch the air and raise your fists. Shameless. I know.

Adorable picture of Wyatt sitting on the steps after he ran them. Yes, he ran them. What a champ.

And this is what Cyrus did all day long. What a cutie pie.

The Banditos

(The Banditos: Wyatt, Daddy, Calvin, Cyrus-not pictured)

The Banditos are an EXCLUSIVE, all-boys club, whose headquarters are located right here in my apartment. The founding member of this club is known to most outsiders as "Daddy." Membership into this club is extended to all males in the Shafer family. Members convene in the evening after their fearless leader returns from a hard days work in "the real world."

Banditos are many things, but chiefly they are TOUGH. They spend most of their time honing and sharpening their skills through rigorous practice. Practice includes, but is not limited to: jumping on the bed, jumping over each other on the bed, wrestling, and pretending to fall down.

Most bandito meetings involve some sort of important conversation involving superheros, either which one they are or whose powers they would like to have. Favorite superheros discussed include: Hulk, Ironman, Thor, The Silver Surfer, Reptil, and any other member of the Super Hero Squad.

Many women might scream and stomp up and down, complaining that they have been ousted from this all boys extravaganza. Then there are smart women like myself. A woman who recognizes a good thing when she sees it. A woman who knows that a man that takes his boys and plays with them after she has had a long day tending to their teeny, tiny needs is a lucky woman. She knows that she is lucky to catch a break and squeeze in a juicy thirty minutes of Access Hollywood . . . . . . completely . . . . . . undisturbed.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

A Little Sumpin' Sumpin' For the Grandparents

No Tricks. Just Treats.

H A P P Y H A L L O W E E N !!!!!!

Was your Halloween as good as ours? Did you get a truck load of candy? Are you just staring at it as it sits on your counter??? Is your will power as good as mine?? I still haven't had any yet. And yes, I'm jonesing for it bad, but I'm not going to give in. No, no, no. My willpower is stronger than a fun size snickers.

Cast of Characters:

Cyrus . . . . . Superman

Wyatt . . . . . The Homemade Puppy (thanks Jeigh)

Calvin . . . . . DK, as in Donkey Kong. (Please don't call him "a cute monkey with a tie" or "Curious George")

Mommy . . . . . Louis Lane (I had a little bit of trouble with the bun in my hair, glasses, and skirt suit, but otherwise I have to say that I think I'm a dead ringer for her)

Daddy . . . . . . The Invisible Man (or just someone kind enough to take all of the pictures, but not be in any. Honey, thanks.)

He's 3

Dear Wyatt,

What kind of words should I use to describe you?

Happy

Kind

Chirpy

Puppy

Daydreamy

Chatty

It's your birthday today! I tried so hard to not let you be born on Halloween. That's why you were born at 11:42 p.m. I held out as long as I could, but you weren't having it. I didn't want you to have to share your birthday with anything else. I still feel a little sorry for you that you have to. I always imagine birthday parties in the future where no one wants any of your birthday cake because they are too full of Halloween candy. Bottom line: I think that you are too special to share your day. But alas, it is what it is.

You are dear to me. You remind me of a pleasant, gentle breeze on a warm day: easy and delightful. One of my favorite things to do is watch you play. You are so content to just lay on the floor, chat with yourself and your toys and daydream. I can't help but wish that I were able to be that content in my own thoughts. It's very sweet.

I'm completely bonkers in love with you. That adorable under bite that makes you look like a bulldog is fitting since you have recently fallen head over heals in love with puppies. I love to watch you tuck all of your stuffed animal puppies into bed and pull the blankets over their heads. I love your pudgy cheeks and thoughtful questions. I love driving down the road and hearing one of these: Are these roads busy? Mom, do you like bananas? Is Colton my best friend? I love it when we sit across from each other at the kitchen table, just you and I, sharing smoothies and Cheetos and practicing winking at each other. Bliss.

I'm such a schmuck. Even as I type I weep. I can't help but feel like I've gotten more than anyone could ever hope or ask for. I feel like the Lord has just heaped happiness at my feet. I love you, Wyatt. I love every little teeny, tiny inch of you. I hope when you are a tween or teenager and go back and read this post it embarrasses you to no end with all of it's sickeningly sweet talk. I can't help myself.

All My Love,

Mom.

Family Picture: The Outtakes Edition

We were so happy to get a family picture because it has been a long time since we have all been in one place, smiling, and looking at the camera. It was, oh, how do I say this???? - - - a challenge. I will only give you 5 outtakes, but you must understand that of the 100+ pictures we took, we only got one.

Yes, one good picture.

But you only need one, right????? So don't be surprised when you see this picture turn up everywhere. If you get a Christmas card - - - yep, there will be our picture. Log onto facebook? yep, there will be our picture. Check your email at our house? yep, the wallpaper will be our family picture. You get the picture. heh heh heh. ;)

Anyway, onto the pictures and witty captions.

Bossy Mom caught in action. But what mama isn't bossy. Doesn't Noah look a little bit like he is not trusting this shot?

Wouldn't a picture of us all hugging be soooo cute? Don't be alarmed. No one was hurt in the making of this picture. Newborns naturally scrunch. So, rest easy.

Wyatt is shocked that we are still taking pictures. I am just focusing on the picture. "Keep smiling, Katie, keep smiling. You can only control yourself." Noah obviously has something important to say. If only we knew what it was.

I suspect that this captures the very first moment that Wyatt will give us that indicates that he will be a moody teenager. Even as a 2 year old, he is in touch enough with his emotions to know he doesn't like to be told how and when to smile. Katie, just keep smiling. Or, look like you are napping. Either will do.

Though not an official member of the family, he was a willing participant in the photo shoot.

Things To Love About Cyrus

1. The bunched up, scrunched up, newborn way he curls up in my arms.

2. His baby acne. Let's be honest - - - zits only look cute on a baby. Plus, he doesn't even cry when I tease him about it and ask him if he wants me to order him some Proactive.

3. The excuses he gives me to sit down for 20 minutes at a time and watch TV. a.k.a. nursing.

4. His adorable sleep smiles. I love it! What is making him smile? I'm sure it's me with my amusing stories, lovely singing voice, and sweet breath.

5. Baby gas. I'm sorry. I know that is a little crude. But it makes me laugh that he is so gassy. When he is really gassy, we pump his legs to "help him out." The other day Noah got 7 toots in a row!! That could only make a mother and father proud.

6. I love his natural ability to grow my laundry exponentially. I used to get by on one laundry day a week. Now I have 1 laundry day + several small Cyrus loads throughout the week.

7. His dark eyes. They seem so curious.

8. AND MY FAVORITE - - - - He helped me lose 30 pounds in just a matter of weeks. What a son!!! What a son!!!

Hey Kids! Why Don't You Make Your Own Breakfast?

Nothing says healthy living like a big batch of Trunk-or-Treat candy for breakfast. They even covered the four main food groups: chocolate, fruity, sucker, and gum. Maybe it's time Yo Mama got outta bed and tended to the older two kids.And I'm pretty sure that mass amounts of sugar at the crack of dawn coupled with letting your two year old put himself down for a nap can sometimes lead to this:
Yep, that's the living room floor. The hard, wood floor. Almost as good as a bed. Actually, just as good when you are plunging down from a sugar high.